» Petty Sabotage

Nobody got it...
Little brother and I, sitting in his room. I was about 15. Mum walks in, I point at him and say, completely out of the blue, "You broke it!"

She looks at both of us, and says "Broke what?"
"Nothing!" he says.
She asks again. "What did you break?"
He keeps denying, she thinks he's lying, and I'm on the floor behind the couch passing out laughing. A few minutes later I can breathe again, and they're still yelling at each other.
I try and tell her that he didn't break anything, and she turns on me like I'm covering for him.
He's still confused, trying to figure out what he broke.

Good times. They both fly into a rage if I accuse either of them of breaking something now.
(Thu 5th May 2005, 5:09, More)

» Join us... come join the cult

Bloody midwest...
I live in the hometown of a paticular strain of Baptists... the Assemblies of God branch. They make churches as big as malls. They're just a bit cultish... a guy I worked with was a member. He eventually got fired for heavy proselytizing (instead of actually, you know, working) and apologizing to the manager for her being jewish. As in, "I'm sorry that you're jewish."


Anyway... while he was there, I attempted to reason with him, (oops) producing this little bit of dialogue.

me - "So, what religion was Jesus, then?"
him - "Assemblies of God, of course!"
me - "Were they around back then?"
him - "Um..."
me - "What about maybe Jewish?"
him - "Nah, not possible."

Apologies for length and lack of lube.
(Thu 26th Jan 2006, 21:14, More)