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32 now. Getting on a bit s'pose...

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» Toilets

On holiday in Spain with friends
I got struck down with 'travellers tummy'. It was on the last night, and my friends wouldn't let me stay home, so I reluctantly went clubbing with them. It didn't take long before I needed to open my bowels. My first reccy of the toilets told me that there was no paper in them. I tried to get some from the bar, but couldn't make myself understood. I found a couple of napkins and headed back in. I now found that the door had no lock, and wouldn't stay shut, so i had to lean forwards all the way to ensure my privacy. At this point, my sphincter gave up, and I sprayed copious amounts of filth directly backwards. Sweating, and close to passing out, I turned round to see that I had basically painted the wall with liquid shit. At least I could wipe my arse, and I think the barstaff may have worked out what I was after in the first place. I certainly didn't stay to find out.
(Mon 5th Sep 2005, 18:04, More)