» The Police

Driving back from Cornwall,
pulled into Petrol station to fill up, my mate spilt petrol on his hand, washed it off (well thought he got it all off)left there pulled smack bang into a traffic jam, I lit a ciggarette and his hand went up in flames, nowhere to go he sticks his hand out the window and starts waving it about, behind us was a copper, he jumps out of his car and arrest's my mate, possession of a firearm!!!!
(Thu 22nd Sep 2005, 10:39, More)

» Putting the Fun in Funeral

Went to my
Grandad's funeral and this lady came up to me and said " i did'nt know the man but i know he was a good person if you don't mind how did he die?" To which I replied "The big C" the lady came back with "drowning must have been a terrible death" I made my excuses and left.....
(Fri 12th May 2006, 16:22, More)

» Missing body parts

I lost my
foot, did'nt know how i would cope but the difference is staggering!
(Fri 2nd Jun 2006, 8:55, More)

» Why I was late

Not so much running late but
i needed the morning off work so i rung up at work and it went like this....

Me: Can't come into work this morning as someone has died.....

Work: Oh i'm sorry, who is it?

Me: I don't know but they are on my kitchen floor......

The only excuse that can be used only once!
(Fri 29th Jun 2007, 16:56, More)

» Encounters with Royalty

Never met royalty but
we found out through doing a history project that Anne Boleyn had brother call tenpin
(Thu 3rd Aug 2006, 16:34, More)