» Dumb things you've done

student pranks
Another story from my time as a student.

We had a spare room in our flat in first year which we'd fill with stuff we'd collect from our way home from the pub. This included various tyres, gnomes, and once we even got a bus stop in there. However, there was one particular night on the way home when me and a friend of mine spied a broken security light, still attached to a wall about 6 ft up. We thought this would make a welcome addition to our museum, and so I tried to wrench it from the wall. I pulled it left, right, up, down - nothing was going to dislodge it. So I sulked and walked away a bit, gazing at the clear starry sky while my larger friend took his turn at wrenching this light from the wall. He failed too.

God must have spoken to me while I was looking at the stars, because I looked at that light fitting with a fiery rage in my belly - I wanted this artifact for my museum! So I strode with drunken bravado up to the light, wedged both hands behind it, lifted my left foot up beside it, lifted my right foot up beside it (bear in mind this light was about 6 ft up), and then wrenched it.

It wasn't a very good addition to the museum, in all honesty, but my flatmate still speaks of the day he saw me turn into a human cruise missile
(Thu 20th Dec 2007, 16:25, More)

» Evil Pranks

several
I was a bit of a nasty studenty flatmate in the past!

I've peppered my flatmates pizza with laxatives only to watch open jawed as his girlfriend eats it

I've sneaked into other halls and taken all the chocolate (about 2 kg) from their kitchen and dumped it in their tumble drier. I saw the resolidified mess the next day and felt ver verr guilty.

sellotaped an upturned drawing pin to a black plastic chair and then even took the care to colour the pin in black. Never laughed so hard in my entire life - the immediate look of pain and confusion on his countenance which can only be translated as "I'll never trust a chair again" will ensure I'm buried with a grin on my face
(Thu 13th Dec 2007, 16:47, More)

» I was drunk when I bought this

thank god my gfs birthday was near
Woke up one morning to find my wallet open on my mousemat, something I normally never do. Still hungover from the night before, I checked my email and my bank balance - all in line. Phew I thought.

Next day, I go to work, and there in my inbox is a "receipt" email. "Ha!", I thought, "another spoof email". I carried on reading my emails. Suddenly, a vortex of fear and panic rose from my stomach.

"Confirmation of booking: 2 x Return cruise to Gothenburg"

Cruise was nice actually, a welcome "birthday treat" for my lady. But hooo man, whole thing came to about 500 quid (not including spending money - £12.50 for 2 g&t's??
(Wed 15th Jun 2005, 10:13, More)