» Crappy Prizes

Beware free gifts
Once driving upto Aberdeen I got my photo taken and won 3 points. Found out later that I had to pay some sort of postage, around £60.
(Fri 5th Aug 2005, 15:10, More)

» My first love

Supergirl

Anyone else find the chick who played supergirl hot? Although the smaller Krankie made me feel weird, even to this day i'm not sure if it was because it was love or disgust. But back to primary school and it was a girl who was really good looking but now is a really rough lezza, i'm telling my kids to keep away from the good looking women!
(Fri 21st Oct 2005, 16:56, More)

» That's when I knew it was over...

But I liked her so much it scared me.......
When after one night at her friends flat warming party in which I spent the night ignoring her, we were leaving along with a few other friends and she came to hold my hand and I bolted up the road over a fence and away into the night. Apparantly she started crying there and then and suffice to say the guys think i'm a legend and the girls think i'm sweet after I told them i liked her too much and i was scared which is why I ran away...........And they will never know unles they read b3ta.
(Wed 27th Jul 2005, 10:12, More)

» Toilets

Wedding Crapper


Whilst still a youngster at my uncles wedding, I had spent the day showing people to their seats as it is the duty of an usher. Throughout the evening dodgying various old relatives who wanted to dance / kiss me i stumbled upon a few bottles of champagne which me and a few friends decided to polish off. Now i'm not sure what happened next because i was only 11 at the time, i remember a friend falling into a pond, another running into a stone bird bath and me, well I shat myself, not normal shat, runny shat all down the inside of my rented suit. Good job I'm from the country, whipped off the kecks, threw them in the pond and a few docking leaves got rid of the shat and i was as good as new, albeit without any kecks.

The next morning my suit went back to the rental place, who was a family friend without being washed.

I pity who ever had to wash those shit stained trousers.
(Tue 6th Sep 2005, 15:58, More)

» Scary Neighbours

Kitchen Olympics

During my first year at Napier University, Edinburgh I stayed with 3 guys in a flat in the expensive Morningside area of town, funnily enough behind J.K. Rowlings house. After a night of beer and buying stuff of those infomercials - (why did we need a bathroom steam cleaner?) we decided to engage in some fun. We came up with Kitchen olympics, which had such events as discuss (throwing frozen pizza) and the discuss (throwing frozen steak). Now our other two flatmates were ponces, one would rather sit in and code his website rather then go out drink beer and annoy women and the other was a millionaires son who had pretty much everything in his room so he never had to come out (he was a wanker any-way). Anyways after throwing there food out of the window onto the road for accuracy we decided to go for distance with the steaks, imagine my delight when my steak flew through the night and then explode through someone's back window. As is was about 2 in the morning we scarpered pretty quickly back to the nightclub / shithole we had just come from.

No apologies for length but apologies for window.
(Fri 26th Aug 2005, 16:10, More)