» This book changed my life

The bible
When I read the bible, it let Jesus into my heart, into my very being. I became enlightened!











pfffhahaha sod that bollocks, I fell asleep.
(Thu 15th May 2008, 15:42, More)

» Customers from Hell

I work in McDonalds
sadly. I hear you all scoffing, as I must have a low IQ and the appearance of an unwashed pubescent child. I assure you this is not the case, and I am fed up with the stick we get for working there. The only reason I'm working for them is because no-where else would hire me, as I'd never had a job before, and I need some money to go to university.

Anyway. No matter how bad you think the staff in McDonalds are, and I admit there are some pricks, the customers are a hell of a lot worse. We get the people that walk in and ask for a "McDonald's", and nothing else. Cue look of confusion, and a loooooong conversation trying to figure out what they want. Then there's the people that take fucking ages getting their wallet/purse/generic money carrying device out and finding money, which, to be honest, they should have done while standing in line. I always do. And those are just the small things. Just a few hours ago, I was working on the top lobby (in the Coventry store, some of you might have seen me working there), when a group of little chavs, must have been around 8 or 9 years old, decide that fire extinguishers are good toys. There goes my relatively quiet day, having to mop up water from half of the seating area. The workers in my store are regularly punched/slapped/grabbed threateningly by drunken or just plain idiotic customers, and of course we get the hobos.

One guy used to come in every day, stinking of piss, and ordered a coffee. What's wrong with that?! I hear you cry. Well, nothing, until he used the toilet. And shat on the floor, and spread it EVERYWHERE. We started locking the toilet when he came in after a few of them. I never see him anymore..

And my friend told me a story of some pikey family that were sitting upstairs quite a few years back, when one of the kids pulled down his pants and shat right in the middle of the seating area. His mother didn't even bat an eyelid. In the end the kid had to clean it up himself. Inbred little shits.

So yeah, lay off the McDonald's workers, we don't like the job, and the customers don't help.
(Sat 6th Sep 2008, 22:30, More)

» Phobias

The only thing I'm really afraid of
is dying. Growing old and dying. I want to see the future. I want to see what happens to the world, I want to see what advances humans make. And, what makes this worse than other fears, is that I can't escape it. Imagine being afraid of spiders, and knowing you're going to get covered in them. You can't get away from it. It haunts you day and night. I don't want to fucking die. EVER.
(Thu 10th Apr 2008, 20:59, More)

» Your first cigarette

First smoke?
I was 13. My mother used to smoke, so I nicked a dog-end and smoked it down by the bins in our garden. Surprisingly enough, I enjoyed it. I actually inhaled aswell, since I had watched my mother doing it most of my life. I enjoyed the taste, and the feeling as the nicotine hit my system. I tried my first spliff that year too.

Now I'm on 10-20 a day, can't run for long without wheezing and coughing shit up, I smoke weed whenever I can, I can roll cigarettes and spliffs perfectly, I can smoke anything that's handed to me. I smoke cigars like cigarettes. I really need a cigarette right now. Not bad for a 17 year old, eh?





Don't smoke.
(Wed 19th Mar 2008, 22:29, More)

» World's Sickest Joke

What's funny?
A bunch of black people with cancer

www.aclt.org/



:(
(Fri 20th Jan 2006, 18:24, More)