» Tramps

I've just remembered another one
When I went to visit somebody in Portsmouth, I saw a tramp on the street, with a small puppy. He didn't ask for anything, just offered me a bottle of water. I politely declined, but gave him some advice as to where he could get free injections for the dog, and he told me his life story. Fucked by a divorce, only drugs he did was smoke. Didn't even drink.

Two years later, I end up moving to Portsmouth. In the same spot, there is the man (Dave) and his dog, now looking grown up, but in excellent condition. In Daves bag were tins of dog food, and Dave was looking skinnier. In his defence, he did use some of his begging money to use facilities in some sort of hostel, where he could shower and shave. Even bought charity shop clothes.

Every time I saw him, I'd buy him a 10 deck of fags, a few cheap (I was skint) sandwiches and a tin of dog food. He was the most appreciating man I'd ever seen.

Fast forward 8 months, and I see another man with the same dog. Dave had been taken to hospital with pneumonia. I was gutted for him, but the also-tramp mate had been looking after the dog, so I bought them the usual. The man asked if my name was Sam - Dave had been talking about me!

I saw him again, briefly. He excitedly told me that the council had given him a house (after 5 years!) and would let his dog go with him. They'd even given him money for furniture, which he held at his ex-wife's house. A charity had given him some toys and a bed for his dog.

I never saw him again. It makes me smile to think of him in his new house, and his dog curled up next to a fire and Dave watching TV.
(Fri 3rd Jul 2009, 1:43, More)

» Buses

I was on teh E3 today from Ealing to Chiswick
And halfway through my journey, I noticed a bunch of deaf girls get on, mainly because they were signing. As they were in my line of sight, I thought I would 'eavesdrop'.

They were taking the piss out of me, I could tell by some of the words, and the fact that they kept turning around to look at me.

So, just before I got off the bus, I walked up to them (all of about 6 feet) and signed to the bigger (well, fatter) one, 'I'm deaf too, you bullhead'.

I didn't need to be threatening, I'm not into that, but I almost pissed myself laughing when I saw the colour drain from her face :)

I'm not sure the other bus patrons even knew what was going on, so there was no rapturous applause or anything like that, just one white girl and their mates looking a bit 'oops'.

Oh - the best bit of it was just before I got up, one giggled 'she doesn't even know what we're saying' or something like that.
(Fri 26th Jun 2009, 2:14, More)

» The nicest thing someone's ever done for me

One of the nicest things that somebody's done
Was when I was assaulted. I was thrown into a thorn bush and kicked in by a bunch of guys, and my hearing aid was lost.

The next morning, a couple of coppers knocked on my door. They handed me my hearing aid, which was nice of them. But one of the coppers was called out, and he left first. According to the second copper, the first one had taken a shine to me and was so angry that somebody could beat a deaf girl up, he'd searched a thorn bush for three hours for it, and his arm was full of cuts from the fucker.

That guy didn't know me!
(Fri 3rd Oct 2008, 22:00, More)

» Faking it

Heh, it's not so much faking it, but still
When I was 4, I was fitted with a prosthetic ear. By the time I started secondary school, the prosthetics quality had developed so well that people don't even know about it! This is what my head looked like without it, except then it had a bar on it. I had really long, flowing hair, so whenever it did slip, you couldn't tell, I was so ninja-ish in my movements to replace it.

It was my second day in secondary school before the secret got out.
I was putting some crap into my locker up in the English block and for a reason beyond me, some kids in my class were running to lesson. One bumped into me quite softly but then that was enough to knock me off my feet. I bumped into my locker and my ear came clean off. By this time, the boys had turned round to apologise, and saw my ear land about an inch from one of their feet, pinna side up.

One went white, asked me if I was OK, and the other started crying. He had genuine concern on his face, so I did the only thing I knew how to do. I shouted, as loud as my little lungs would project my innocent voice, "OH MY GOD! WHERE'S MY EAR? IT HURTS! IT HURTS!" With a few allowed* swearwords for good measure. The other boy burst into tears.

It wasn't until the head of year made me apologise that I was found out. I think mainly for that kid's mental health!

*where swearing in kids is overlooked because they're in agony
(Thu 10th Jul 2008, 23:19, More)

» Stalked

pffft
There's this one man, who follows me EVERYWHERE! He used to answer every question that I did on an internet messageboard and added me to MSN. I used to speak to him, quite baffled.

Eventually he started ringing me up every night and texting me. Then he ended up in a field that I was camping in on HALLOWEEN of all days!

He kept travelling MILES AND MILES to come and see me every month or so, and eventually got a tenancy in the same shared house I live in! Even when I moved home he moved into the same house!

Right now he's sat opposite me on the kitchen table, giving me googley-eyed looks every so often and chuckling to himself.

Apparently I'm engaged to him..
(Fri 1st Feb 2008, 22:50, More)