Profile for davemission:
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- a member for 4 years, 4 months and 23 days
- has posted 113 messages on the main board
- has posted 22 messages on the talk board
- has posted 2 messages on the links board
- has posted 5 stories and 5 replies on question of the week
- They liked 39 pictures, 16 links, 1 talk posts, and 71 qotw answers.
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» That's when I knew it was over...
It was over fucking big time.
Imagine my revulsion and horror, when, during pre-coital oral on my then girlfriend, (a gentleman should you know),I became increasingly aware of an unusual, yet strangely familiar odour, not to mention taste. At the point of her orgasm, I was dumbfounded to witness a gobbet of man-batter emerging, no oozing, from the holiest of holies. More dumbfounded still when I realised we hadn't had sex for a fortnight because I'd been working away. Just then, a penny the size of a fucking man-hole cover dropped. Thats when it was over, funnily enough.
(Fri 22nd Jul 2005, 23:00, More)
It was over fucking big time.
Imagine my revulsion and horror, when, during pre-coital oral on my then girlfriend, (a gentleman should you know),I became increasingly aware of an unusual, yet strangely familiar odour, not to mention taste. At the point of her orgasm, I was dumbfounded to witness a gobbet of man-batter emerging, no oozing, from the holiest of holies. More dumbfounded still when I realised we hadn't had sex for a fortnight because I'd been working away. Just then, a penny the size of a fucking man-hole cover dropped. Thats when it was over, funnily enough.
(Fri 22nd Jul 2005, 23:00, More)
» Body Mods
Not me but a chum...
went and got himself a Prince Albert. Under the rim of his bell-end and out of his Jap's eye. Fucking horrific. He wore panty liners for a fortnight following the procedure and his Mrs left him soonafter. Having said that, however, he is guaranteed plenty of shoulder room at the piss-trough because he now has a cock not unlike a garden sprinkler. Stupid cunt.
Length? Girth? Not much of either when it's bleeding like a stuck pig. My own winky is fucking lovely though.
(Sat 2nd Dec 2006, 23:35, More)
Not me but a chum...
went and got himself a Prince Albert. Under the rim of his bell-end and out of his Jap's eye. Fucking horrific. He wore panty liners for a fortnight following the procedure and his Mrs left him soonafter. Having said that, however, he is guaranteed plenty of shoulder room at the piss-trough because he now has a cock not unlike a garden sprinkler. Stupid cunt.
Length? Girth? Not much of either when it's bleeding like a stuck pig. My own winky is fucking lovely though.
(Sat 2nd Dec 2006, 23:35, More)
» Top Tips
A few more...
Never accept a drink off someone who sniffs his fingers.
Don't trust anyone who doesn't drink.
Always assume President Bush is talking shit.
Always assume Tony Blair is lying.
Your cock is big enough. Ladies' snatchboxes are fucking cavernous.
Dont bother with fucking idiots.
People who want to be in charge should not be allowed to be.
Sanuff sed.
(Sun 3rd Dec 2006, 0:49, More)
A few more...
Never accept a drink off someone who sniffs his fingers.
Don't trust anyone who doesn't drink.
Always assume President Bush is talking shit.
Always assume Tony Blair is lying.
Your cock is big enough. Ladies' snatchboxes are fucking cavernous.
Dont bother with fucking idiots.
People who want to be in charge should not be allowed to be.
Sanuff sed.
(Sun 3rd Dec 2006, 0:49, More)
» Top Tips
Umm...
Ice AND a slice? Not me! What a waste of valuable quaffing time. Do what Mrs Mission does and freeze ickle bits of lemonny goodness within the icey cubes prior to a piss- up. They are so much of a talking point, that no-body minds that the gin is, in fact, the cheapest fucking rubbish that Lidl's sells. Having said that, the bottled pils lager stuff from there is fucking immense. Move over Wifebeater!
(Sun 3rd Dec 2006, 0:01, More)
Umm...
Ice AND a slice? Not me! What a waste of valuable quaffing time. Do what Mrs Mission does and freeze ickle bits of lemonny goodness within the icey cubes prior to a piss- up. They are so much of a talking point, that no-body minds that the gin is, in fact, the cheapest fucking rubbish that Lidl's sells. Having said that, the bottled pils lager stuff from there is fucking immense. Move over Wifebeater!
(Sun 3rd Dec 2006, 0:01, More)