» Mobile phone disasters

Judges haaaaate mobile phones going off in their court
In my division there was one particular judge who would go completely MENTAL if a phone went off in his court subjecting the poor unfortunate to a barrage of abuse/ threats of summary conviction for contempt etc. He retired a few years ago and was presiding in what was to be his last day in motion court.

Halfway through the roll - a phone goes off (that really annoying nokia tone on ascend) - there is a collective intake of breath and EVERYONE get's this "who farted?" look on their faces... the look of fury on his face was intense until he realised that it was coming from his own pocket - one of the other judges, a noted practical joker, had slipped it into his pocket just before he went into court... oh the fun we have...
(Wed 5th Aug 2009, 11:34, More)

» Common

colonial easily confused
My ancestors departed your shores about a centuary prior to the who U/ non-U debate. Let's just say that I find it perplexing. eg. staffies, rotties and bull terriers are considered the height of cool out here.

Not entirely on point but I managed to reduce an entire meeting to childish snorts and giggles when I glibly announced that I needed to leave early because "the painters and decorators were coming"...

you English and your euphemisms...

*pop*
(Tue 21st Oct 2008, 12:51, More)

» Housemates

The Strangest of all...
Katherine - went to France without telling us (her flatmates)

She disappeared for FIVE DAYS.

The morning she left for the airport I was getting ready for work. "Bye" I said and got the usual cold glare response. Not "I'll be away for a few days don't worry" or ANYTHING LIKE THAT.

We live in South Africa.

There is crime here.

We phoned morgues, hospitals and the police. She worked near the harbour. They found a body. We thought it was her. The body had been nibble by fish so they were in the process of doing a dental record comparison. It was only a fortuitous (and frantic) phonecall from the guy she had gone to see in France which alerted us to the fact that she was ok.

F*cking crazy bitch.
(Thu 26th Feb 2009, 15:19, More)

» Banks

we've all had the urge to do this...
www.iol.co.za/index.php?set_id=1&click_id=13&art_id=vn20040130040809722C241214

my favourite part is:


Angela Bruwer, Absa's public relations general manager, said she was aware of Manamela's statement that 15 snakes had been released, but said she was confident there had been only five puff adders - and that all had been caught.

--------------

You won't extend my overdraft? Very well - RELEASE THE SNAKES!
(Mon 20th Jul 2009, 15:29, More)

» This book changed my life

Raise High The Roof Beams Carpenters
It's actually a novella (ie a long short story) by JD Salinger - a profound meditation on life, family, sadness and love. It's also really funny in places.

I have read it so many times. It is like a ritual when I am feeling down. At the end I am always glad to be human.
(Mon 19th May 2008, 11:33, More)