» School Days

French
like 80% of the kids in my year, I hated languages, probably because of the general shoddyness of the teaching we recieved and we worked our way through 4 teachers in the final year.

(including an American on September the 11th, but thats another story)

but anyway, I digress... during double periods the fact that we hadn't done anything but create a more versatile paper airplane, boredom had truly set in. The teacher clocked on the to the fact we'd done nothing (as usual) and began inspecting everyones little lined paper books...

Example of following inspection:

Miss Grey (in ridiculous french accent): Adam, were is todays work, you've been in lesson for 90 minutes, were is your work?
Adam: erm, erm...
Miss Grey: detention!

It continues in this vein right up the left side of the room until she reaches me...

"Ryan, Ryan why have you done no work? every time I come over you've never done work..." "but, but I did it!"
"were? you have not done work..."
"I did it in.... I did it in white ink!"
"..... oh.... well ok next time do it in black ink"

meheehe, excelent
(Sun 1st Feb 2009, 9:25, More)

» Crap meals out

Spain
me and my parents once went to some stinking shit hole of an apparent restruant in Spain.... we had ordered the food for take out wich took about an hour and half to arrive (not one word of a lie) they kept people sitting in their restruant to amke their business seem popular... lavishing us with lollies and everything. Anyway he came did the waiter eventually and basically threw a white bag on the table filled with our "food".... We took the food back to the appartment and were horrified to discover its content, green mouldy bread, gravy with white bits in etc... We'd waited for this emal for an hour and half as id said, so as Brits we'd be fucked if we were gunna let that stop us... with grit determination we chewed the meal and lapped up the mould.... Moral of the story is swallow your pride not Spanish shit.... ended up sharing the bog to puke in at the same time while the mother was winging at us... happy times
(Thu 4th May 2006, 10:24, More)

» World's Sickest Joke

how do you get a one armed Irishman ot of a tree?
wave!
(Mon 19th Dec 2005, 15:38, More)

» Going Too Far

conversation...
well I was about 13 at the time, but the conversation was a deep one into religion, torture etc (the two go hand in hand right?) but anyway.

him: I mean, Jews... tortured for their religion, why? weres the justification...

me: well, Jews have been persicuted throughout time, from before the birth of christ to the end of the 2nd world war..... i say why stop now?....... IT'S TRADITION!

EDIT: i'm not a jew hater at all :P it was a "moment of warped clarity"
(Wed 15th Nov 2006, 0:05, More)

» I'm going to Hell...

well... not me but
my friend became "dangerously bored" on a caravan holiday and decided to eat a bible, old and new testament...

he also got half way through psalms on his next excursion :D



but why will i burn in hell? i guess from all the experiments, the usual: toast lands buttered side down, cat lands on feet.... hmmmmm
(Wed 17th Dec 2008, 8:42, More)