» In the Army Now - The joy of the Armed Forces

Not me, im only young..
But my grandfather was in WWII, as most peoples grandfather's here were.
Mine stormed onto that beach thingy, dunno much about it however as he died when I was a wee whipper snapper.
What I do know is that he got some shiny medals, and a stamp book.
Yes, a stamp book.
While other platoons broke into banks and stole all they could, my grandfather stole a stamp book from a german post office!
Why not the fecking gold! I could be rich now!
Damn him.
(Thu 23rd Mar 2006, 23:47, More)

» Well, that taught 'em

More maths payback time
Sitting in maths, second row from the back, you'd expect to be safe from all the usual tomfoolery that happens when your back is turned. Especially if you happen to have 2 of the more geeky sort sat behind you and the chav-type in front of you.

But oh no. One of the geeky sort decides it'll be fun to put his feet on the back of my chair and start pushing my chair forwards and backwards, rocking me about, and carried on doing so for several weeks despite me asking nicely.

So I hatched a plan. I grabbed my mechanical pencil, clicked it a few times to get the led poking out and waited.
The, as I felt a pair of shoes edge closer to my chair...WHACK.
Stabbed the fucker right in the calf.
He cried, I got shouted at and moved across to the other side of the class room.

In the end I sat next to a great guy for the next 2 years with 2 very attractive girls in front. And now me and my chair pushing bully are best friends!
(Fri 27th Apr 2007, 4:11, More)

» How nerdy are you?

I'm more geeky than nerdy I'd say...
But then I see a major difference between nerd and geek. Guess that counts!

But anyway:
I'm a member of an online Blood Bowl game, which is a java version of a games workshop game...
I did used to paint the miniatures when I was younger, but not for many a year now.

I regularly stay up online till 4am programming.
I made a Clippy generator because I was too lazy to shop them every time.
I saw an ASCII reference here too in a bad pun, well I wrote an image-ASCII converter...It does edge tracing (badly) too!

Oh, and to get some maths geekery in there, I have a half done raycaster too. In PHP too, which adds to the pointlessly geeky value!

Did I mention I've been single for 2 years now? Can't think why!
(Fri 7th Mar 2008, 1:56, More)

» My first experience of porn

Sexanory
2 stories spring to mind.

First story occurred round at a friends house, Lets call him Tom, (bet you can't guess why). He was the first one in my group of friends to get sky, and had recorded some WWF wrestling on VHS. The one where a guy died because he forgot to tie himself to a rope or something along those lines.
Anyway, we watched said tape, they'd cut the bit with him falling to his demise so wasn't much fun, until the end when we discovered the recording had run over to a full show of "Sexanory". This little episode was 30 minutes long of a rather hot, middle aged woman, telling a story. This episode was entitled "The office party".
She spoke to me and Tom about these two workers wandering off to the managers office and dancing the sideways monstermash on his desk, and she rubbed herself and slipped off her clothes in line with the story as she sprawled across an office table, trying to make us get more involved in the story I assume.
Great fun! Only ever saw it once before we destroyed the evidence for fear of being caught however, but sexanory will be on my mind for some years to come.

Second story came about upon cleaning out the garden shed with Mum, her boyfriend Ian, and his son of 18, Oliver.
Got it all spic and span. That was apart for the locked up old chest of draws at the back of the shed.
Popped it open and lo and behold my brother of 14, at the time, had filled it to the brim with razzle, escort, page 3, UK dogging mags, classic seventies mags with more bush than our garden, in fact if ever there was a jazz mag sold, it was in that cupboard.
Knowing my brother's immanent return with his friends Mum, boyfriend, his son and I haul the stacks onto the driveway for all to see.
Cue 30 mins later a very red faced brother and mates come into the lounge. I often wonder what the neighbors thought too, but we've since moved so who cares!
(Mon 29th Jan 2007, 13:45, More)

» Fire!

ex-pyro
i could ramble on about my flaming exploists for many a day, but alas i shall only tell one.

i used to be a model rocketeer to, so i once cut open, using a kitchen knife, one of the solid fule rocket engine to see what made em go.

inside you can find a solid black carbon lik rod, when crumbled into powder, you get some cool effects when mixing it with a flame :)
but no, i needed more! so i chose to use a reasonably sized chunk, some pliers, a gardening glove and a disposable lighter, i put the glove on my hand, safety first and all that, and with my gloved hand held the pliers holding the fules, then lit it with my other hand expecting a big bang/puff, not a 30cm long blue flame roaring into my non gloved finger, cooking it to the bone.

After a few days the skin fell off, and then you could see all the workings of a finger, luckilly i didnt have any feeling in it, but its all healed back now, and im typing with thevery finger :)
(Thu 3rd Nov 2005, 18:07, More)