» Spoooky Coincidence

excellent, i get to tell my ace story
Firstly, some cunt i once told this story to said he liked it so much he was going to start telling it as his own, so if it appears again, then its mine not his, and if you're reading this rougepath, yes i mean YOU

About 15 years ago as a wee lass my family moved into a new house, the previous occupants having been a young family also. During the move our piano got a bit bashed about so my dad got a piano tuner in. The piano tuner arrived and got down to it. Whatever IT is.

Anyhoo, once he was done the money changed hands and the piano tuner enquired about what had happened to the old lady who lived in our house? My dad said there is no old lady, and the people who lived in the house before us were a family too with no old lady in tow. The piano tuner said that is very odd because i have tuned this piano before, in this room and an old lady lived here... Upon investigation the piano tuner and my dad found the piano tuner's rather dusty and yellowed card down inside the depths of the instrument...

Turns out that an old lady had lived in the house before the other family... she had once owned our piano but when she had moved had sold it to a second hand shop, whereupon my dad had purchased said piano. A few years later we had also purchased her old house, and placed the piano in exactly the same position!

I love telling that story
(Sat 10th Feb 2007, 8:40, More)

» Putting the Fun in Funeral

So....
...we're in the big long black car, just pulled up to my grandpa's funeral, me, my mum, my brother, along with my grandpa's brother, Uncle Fred. A sombre moment. Quite a big crowd is outside the church, awaiting our arrival. I remember their sad, sympathetic faces still. We all look at each other... it is time to get out of the car and make our way in.... Except for one problem. Uncle Fred's seatbelt has got jammed somehow.... And what better way was there for him to mark the moment than by breaking into a rousing rendition of the Engelbert Humperdinck classic "Please Release Me, Let Me Go" at the top of his voice. I'll never forget the look on the other mourners faces as we all just sat there in the car pissing ourselves laughing, while old Uncle Fred was rescued still crooning like a good'un.

Hilarious at the time although I could never watch the Fast Show without remembering my grandpa's funeral after that.
(Thu 11th May 2006, 21:56, More)

» Phobias

stilts
I've got a real problem with people on stilts. I realised this about 8 years ago when I was in an upstairs room and saw a mans head bobbing by the window and it gave me the heebee jeebees but its not just seeing them from windows, I feel terrible standing near them. I hate carnivals. Theres always one of the creepy fuckers stalking about.

I dont like all stilts, but the worst are ones where the persons stick legs are covered in long red and white stripey trousers, aaaaggggghhhhh. I've got goosebumps.

Since discovering this phobia some friends started calling me Stilts. Now I have to explain the stilts thing all the time, resulting in stilt picture emails when i least expect them
(Tue 15th Apr 2008, 18:56, More)

» Urban Legends

Curtis
Is jamie lee curtis not really a hermaphrodite then?
(Wed 11th Jan 2006, 15:08, More)