Profile for Sturmabteilung Gnome:
Shegetz wrote this for me- very appreciated:
Well now here comes my man Lord Gnome,
and we all know that he's up in the zone,
and the time is now to let it be known,
that we all need him like earth needs ozone -
Yo! Lord Gnome! you go,
you'll hear a thousand thousand cries of "oh God, oh no!"
'cos though you might smell and you might be slow,
there might many trolls but there's only one Gnome!
I recently received this rather odd spam message- I think it was trying to sell me something but I'm fucked if I know what it was.
One flash of eye, or blow one clarion-blast;
wonders if she'd ever be brave enough
Swaying in unison beneath the snow,
And off the white smoke swims
Late February, and the air's so balmy
Right, and appears from here to be overcome
XX. To the Pole
Onto my frozen fingers.
The winged winds, captives of that age-old foe
In a single floral stroke,
In Florida, it's strawberry season—
Pealing, it tries to fill the cold night air
Of the matter of snow here. Both of us have grasped
Will hear the storm-blast of his clarion.
Are gliding toward me on the ice into
Away from their profundity of surface.
Wheel tracks entrench themselves in snow, yet painted
Merely a mockery of spring
to matter, for the flushed boys are muscular~
I'm a member of
See Capt'n Hood-Butter for details.
And
And
And
Current members:
I am also a founder member of the "Whythebigpaws fan club" (my first badge- I didn't make the ones above)
So help yourself to a badge-
I made this too (not a lot of effort goes into these)
And this
This too
If you would like a crap badge, badly cobbled together from stuff that I can easily find on the net or in your profile,
then send me a message and let me know, and I will try to make something for you.
I don't blog or MySpace as I can't be bothered to keep it up, but I do have a Flickr account that you are welcome to take a look round.
I'll try to add stuff to it as I go but won't guarantee it.
Meanwhile here is some stuff I have got round to doing at last.
"After 20 years of losing at noughts and crosses every day on national television she suddenly snapped..."
Apologies for the bad punnage
Was buggering about with Photoshop, but I figure it might make a good bowling ball.
My gallery of altered b3tards
Reid, Sprinkles and Druid.
Big fluffy picture below...
It looks very empty round here since I took nearly all of the "What sexual perversion/BBC News 24 Presenter/Naturally occurring radioactive isotope are you?" things out.
I'll get back to updating it at some point when I have more stuff to put in here.
Grunge! You're all about the music and would even
turn your back on fame just to stay true to
your roots... You reached your high in the
early '90s, but you're still making some good
stuff! Keep rocking!
Which is your favourite Father Jack saying?
visited 13 states (5.77%)
Create your own visited map of The World
Recent front page messages:
none
Best answers to questions:
[read all their answers]
- a member for 4 years, 1 month and 22 days
- has posted 125 messages on the main board
- has posted 24959 messages on the talk board
- has posted 122 messages on the links board
- (including 60 links)
- has posted 18 stories and 1 replies on question of the week
- They liked 212 pictures, 185 links, 413 talk posts, and 25 qotw answers.
- Ignore this user
- Add this user as a friend
- send me a message
Shegetz wrote this for me- very appreciated:
Well now here comes my man Lord Gnome,
and we all know that he's up in the zone,
and the time is now to let it be known,
that we all need him like earth needs ozone -
Yo! Lord Gnome! you go,
you'll hear a thousand thousand cries of "oh God, oh no!"
'cos though you might smell and you might be slow,
there might many trolls but there's only one Gnome!
I recently received this rather odd spam message- I think it was trying to sell me something but I'm fucked if I know what it was.
One flash of eye, or blow one clarion-blast;
wonders if she'd ever be brave enough
Swaying in unison beneath the snow,
And off the white smoke swims
Late February, and the air's so balmy
Right, and appears from here to be overcome
XX. To the Pole
Onto my frozen fingers.
The winged winds, captives of that age-old foe
In a single floral stroke,
In Florida, it's strawberry season—
Pealing, it tries to fill the cold night air
Of the matter of snow here. Both of us have grasped
Will hear the storm-blast of his clarion.
Are gliding toward me on the ice into
Away from their profundity of surface.
Wheel tracks entrench themselves in snow, yet painted
Merely a mockery of spring
to matter, for the flushed boys are muscular~
I'm a member of
See Capt'n Hood-Butter for details.
And
And
And
Current members:
I am also a founder member of the "Whythebigpaws fan club" (my first badge- I didn't make the ones above)
So help yourself to a badge-
I made this too (not a lot of effort goes into these)
And this
This too
If you would like a crap badge, badly cobbled together from stuff that I can easily find on the net or in your profile,
then send me a message and let me know, and I will try to make something for you.
I don't blog or MySpace as I can't be bothered to keep it up, but I do have a Flickr account that you are welcome to take a look round.
I'll try to add stuff to it as I go but won't guarantee it.
Meanwhile here is some stuff I have got round to doing at last.
"After 20 years of losing at noughts and crosses every day on national television she suddenly snapped..."
Apologies for the bad punnage
Was buggering about with Photoshop, but I figure it might make a good bowling ball.
Reid, Sprinkles and Druid.
Big fluffy picture below...
It looks very empty round here since I took nearly all of the "What sexual perversion/BBC News 24 Presenter/Naturally occurring radioactive isotope are you?" things out.
I'll get back to updating it at some point when I have more stuff to put in here.
Grunge! You're all about the music and would even
turn your back on fame just to stay true to
your roots... You reached your high in the
early '90s, but you're still making some good
stuff! Keep rocking!
Which is your favourite Father Jack saying?
visited 13 states (5.77%)
Create your own visited map of The World
Recent front page messages:
none
Best answers to questions:
» Bastard Colleagues
I don't work with this bloke
However I think Christian Dadswell of Newport, as seen on the BBC's site, probably deserves a mention in this QOTW.
I'm guessing here but what I imagine his colleagues probably mean is that they hope he's going to die soon.
(Thu 31st Jan 2008, 9:00, More)
I don't work with this bloke
However I think Christian Dadswell of Newport, as seen on the BBC's site, probably deserves a mention in this QOTW.
I'm guessing here but what I imagine his colleagues probably mean is that they hope he's going to die soon.
(Thu 31st Jan 2008, 9:00, More)
» Terrible food
I had a few disasters while learning to cook
I think that the fry-up I made after getting quite tipsy one night probably rates quite highly on that score. I didn't realise anything was unusual when the "oil" turned very bubbly. It was only the next morning when I woke up with the most disgusting taste of chemicals permeating my hangover that the penny finally dropped. I had fried everything in washing-up liquid.
Don't try it- it will make you sick.
(Thu 17th May 2007, 14:44, More)
I had a few disasters while learning to cook
I think that the fry-up I made after getting quite tipsy one night probably rates quite highly on that score. I didn't realise anything was unusual when the "oil" turned very bubbly. It was only the next morning when I woke up with the most disgusting taste of chemicals permeating my hangover that the penny finally dropped. I had fried everything in washing-up liquid.
Don't try it- it will make you sick.
(Thu 17th May 2007, 14:44, More)
» Misunderstood
Misunderstanding instructions
Many years ago at Uni went to visit a friend at his house. First time I had met his wife who had a reputation of being a dragon. I was standing, waitng nervously for him with her in the living room when suddenly she yelled "Sit down." I nearly dropped on to the sofa, at which point she started pissing herself laughing. Turns out she was shouting at their- hitherto unseen- pet dog. She was still a very scary person though! Not recent but it sticks in the mind.
More recently I was on holiday in Canada where I had to learn to stop referring to cigarette ends as fag butts, but I guess that's a pretty common one.
(Sat 8th Oct 2005, 11:05, More)
Misunderstanding instructions
Many years ago at Uni went to visit a friend at his house. First time I had met his wife who had a reputation of being a dragon. I was standing, waitng nervously for him with her in the living room when suddenly she yelled "Sit down." I nearly dropped on to the sofa, at which point she started pissing herself laughing. Turns out she was shouting at their- hitherto unseen- pet dog. She was still a very scary person though! Not recent but it sticks in the mind.
More recently I was on holiday in Canada where I had to learn to stop referring to cigarette ends as fag butts, but I guess that's a pretty common one.
(Sat 8th Oct 2005, 11:05, More)
» Putting the Fun in Funeral
Was at a funeral a few weeks back
A damned good friend died from a heart attack- he was a legendary hippy- loved him to death and miss his wit like crazy- truly, when they made him, they broke the mould- a total one-off. "Hey Squid, you're in Bizarre again" "I don't worry about that, I worry about the planet"
But he was a very big Hawkwind fan. So I went to the cremation and they played Kate Bush and stuff like that, but no Hawkwind (he went into the furnace to the sound of Pink Floyd's Comfortably Numb- good call, though I have already picked AC/DC's Highway to Hell for myself)
Following the service my friend Woody complained that there had been no Hawkwind played at the funeral, so I said "Which track would you like? Disappear in Smoke would be good" Went down badly- even though later it was mentioned "I hope the crematorium workers don't stand too close to the chimney when they actually burn him- can you imagine how high they will get?"
Afterwards we had a great wake for him in a local pub- so this is more a remembrance of the man and I doff my cap to him (there's more that isn't relevant here) and would politely ask you to charge your glasses and drink to the memory of Squid the hippy biker druggie comedian (all of those labels fit, but don't describe well enough)
And may the bastard rot in hell!
(Sat 13th May 2006, 21:44, More)
Was at a funeral a few weeks back
A damned good friend died from a heart attack- he was a legendary hippy- loved him to death and miss his wit like crazy- truly, when they made him, they broke the mould- a total one-off. "Hey Squid, you're in Bizarre again" "I don't worry about that, I worry about the planet"
But he was a very big Hawkwind fan. So I went to the cremation and they played Kate Bush and stuff like that, but no Hawkwind (he went into the furnace to the sound of Pink Floyd's Comfortably Numb- good call, though I have already picked AC/DC's Highway to Hell for myself)
Following the service my friend Woody complained that there had been no Hawkwind played at the funeral, so I said "Which track would you like? Disappear in Smoke would be good" Went down badly- even though later it was mentioned "I hope the crematorium workers don't stand too close to the chimney when they actually burn him- can you imagine how high they will get?"
Afterwards we had a great wake for him in a local pub- so this is more a remembrance of the man and I doff my cap to him (there's more that isn't relevant here) and would politely ask you to charge your glasses and drink to the memory of Squid the hippy biker druggie comedian (all of those labels fit, but don't describe well enough)
And may the bastard rot in hell!
(Sat 13th May 2006, 21:44, More)
» Have you ever paid for sex?
Does "nearly" count for this post
A friend and I had been drinking since early and decided that the best way to round the evening off was to call one of the ads in the local paper and ask for a "party booking" (ie more than one of you) When she turned up our supposed "sexy, busty blonde" had turned into Pat Butcher. The sight of that turning up saying "Right, who wants noshing off then, or do I have to do both of you at once?" is enough to make any man lose wood. We had to pretend she had the wrong address and that we hadn't phoned the agency at all.
Apologies for length (bad QOTW to say that in I guess)
(Fri 20th Jan 2006, 0:20, More)
Does "nearly" count for this post
A friend and I had been drinking since early and decided that the best way to round the evening off was to call one of the ads in the local paper and ask for a "party booking" (ie more than one of you) When she turned up our supposed "sexy, busty blonde" had turned into Pat Butcher. The sight of that turning up saying "Right, who wants noshing off then, or do I have to do both of you at once?" is enough to make any man lose wood. We had to pretend she had the wrong address and that we hadn't phoned the agency at all.
Apologies for length (bad QOTW to say that in I guess)
(Fri 20th Jan 2006, 0:20, More)