» Mugged

The local scumbags
From around where I live once tried to mug me. I was 8, on a rusty old bike from my grandads house and being 8 years old, had only fluff in my pockets.

They picked me up by the ankles and shook me upside down, like you see on cartoons. I started giggling because I quite enjoyed this game. Anyway I farted in glee and as my arse was quite close to their horrible acne infested faces they got a full whiff of the foul pong from my arse.

It must have been pungent as they dropped me as soon as I guffed and ran away saying 'aww that stinks' or something along those lines.

I was going over to my mates house, and the two muggers were his cousins who waited outside his backdoor for me. Brilliant.

Both now live at Her Majesty's pleasure.
(Fri 16th Jun 2006, 0:20, More)

» Intense Friendships

The Den
At the side of my house is a train station, and a lot of overgrown spare land. So as kids, me, my brother and a few chums bult a den in all the brambles and nettles. This is a place where we would try our first cigerette, look at discarded porn mags together, and climb trees.

Anyways, one of my friends discovered the joys of wanking one summer holiday and urged us all to try it. Now i had heard of this so called masturbating before but never actually tried it. We all took a section of a porn mag and headed off into the bushes.

10 minutes later one of my less experienced mates ambled up to me with erect cock in hand, pointed at his japs eye and asked 'do you think this is cum?'

I didnt know how to react, i mumbled yes as i was still thrashing away when he shuffled up and i didnt know what the hell to look for. His face lit up with joy at his very first successful wank. He departed and left me to carry on. I didnt think this was slightly gay at all.

There is a bridge that runs over the railway track not far from our house and we used to spend many a day pulling moonys and urinating on trains as they went under, one time two of our friends held each others todgers, whilst pissing on the trains. Again we never thought this was gay in anyway.

I dont see any of those friends anymore, which is a shame because they were definatley the best days of my life.
(Fri 28th Jul 2006, 14:00, More)

» Stupid Dares

Scout Camp
Our scout troup went on a special summer camp 'down south' with a grant form the lottery for the millenium. This included go-karting, swimming basically all our activities were subsidised. And so was our little jaunt around London.

We all lined up to go on the London Eye and whilst in the queue i dared my brother that he wouldn't pull a moony from the top of the London Eye to the bottom, which of course he did. And that my friends is how my brother got banned form the London Eye for life. Did i mention that there were other members of the public with us in the pod? and that my brother started to sing to himself.

"moony moony moonymoonymoony" Repeated about 200 times.

My mate took a photo form the pod adjacent to us so we have photographic evidence.
(Thu 1st Nov 2007, 16:12, More)

» The Weird Kid In Class

Some lad
Some lad in my school was able to hold his breath until he fainted.

This came in handy for tests, shit lessons, days off etc.

But i think the lack of oxygen to his brain confuddled him and he ended up turning into a spacker.

One lesson he wanted to go home so he did his usual, but this time as he fainted he shit himself. And them another weirdo kid went right up to his arse, im talking nose touching here, and sniffed up then puked all over him.

I was so glad i turned up to school that day to be one of the privileged few who witnessed it.

The same lad in a school swimming lesson walked out of the changing rooms bollock naked with his arm up in the air (as you do when you address a teacher) and told the teacher he had no swimming trunks. In front of the entire swimming pool and two classes from our school.
(Mon 22nd Jan 2007, 22:37, More)

» My Collection

I collect coins and notes
Of pound sterling.

Every month i seem to lose my collection and have to start all over again.

Bits of it go missing along with my memory ever fiday and saturday nights, without fail.

Weird that.
(Fri 12th Jan 2007, 5:13, More)