Profile for Christopher Martin-Jenkins:
recommends self-catering holidays in Devon provided by both Coulscott∞ and Drewstone Farm∞
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- a member for 18 years, 4 months and 29 days
- has posted 110 messages on the main board
- (of which 1 have appeared on the front page)
- has posted 2 messages on the talk board
- has posted 5 messages on the links board
- (including 3 links)
- has posted 4 stories and 0 replies on question of the week
- They liked 39 pictures, 0 links, 0 talk posts, and 0 qotw answers.
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recommends self-catering holidays in Devon provided by both Coulscott∞ and Drewstone Farm∞
Recent front page messages:
Best answers to questions:
» Putting the Fun in Funeral
Funeral
My sister died last year, I was very close to her and her slow death over six months was enormously upsetting. Her friends were generally a rather intense and sentimental lot, whilst me and my brother believe that sentiment is for people who are too witless to have their own thoughts & feelings. We approached evrything with humour wherever possible, and grim humour if we could possibly get away with it.
My sister had a humanist funeral. I found the service almost unbearably distressing, and I had an overwhelming panicky feeling when the loony looking woman who ran it announced we were all going to have a minute's silence for our own thoughts. I really thought I was going to break down uncontrollably, when my brother leaned over and asked me if I was OK. I nodded and bit my lip.
He then said sotto voce in a silent and packed crematorium, "You know, I reckon you've time for a quick wank."
That saved my sanity for the whole day. Because we were close family no-one dared to make anything of it.
I am 42 my brother is 54.
(Fri 12th May 2006, 12:56, More)
Funeral
My sister died last year, I was very close to her and her slow death over six months was enormously upsetting. Her friends were generally a rather intense and sentimental lot, whilst me and my brother believe that sentiment is for people who are too witless to have their own thoughts & feelings. We approached evrything with humour wherever possible, and grim humour if we could possibly get away with it.
My sister had a humanist funeral. I found the service almost unbearably distressing, and I had an overwhelming panicky feeling when the loony looking woman who ran it announced we were all going to have a minute's silence for our own thoughts. I really thought I was going to break down uncontrollably, when my brother leaned over and asked me if I was OK. I nodded and bit my lip.
He then said sotto voce in a silent and packed crematorium, "You know, I reckon you've time for a quick wank."
That saved my sanity for the whole day. Because we were close family no-one dared to make anything of it.
I am 42 my brother is 54.
(Fri 12th May 2006, 12:56, More)
» Dumb things you've done
Hoovering the fire
I was in a hurry to get all the housework done last night, as my wife goes bananas if she comes in late and everything isnt done.
I'd already lit the woodburner, and was hoovering the ashes from the hearth. I opened the burner door and hoovered some ashes from the edge that were about to drop.
Some red hot embersw whoosed up the tube, but I thought nothing of it and carried on blithely.
A minute later I smelt a nasty burning smell - of course! hot embers on a bed of dry dust with a strong air flow over them. A sort of miniature blast furnace!
Oh dear, red sparks flying out the air vents, and a nasty nasty lingering smell.
I havent checked the hoover yet, I think its OK.
I had a cigar to cover the smell, the gruppenfuhrer is none the wiser.
Oops
(Thu 20th Dec 2007, 15:43, More)
Hoovering the fire
I was in a hurry to get all the housework done last night, as my wife goes bananas if she comes in late and everything isnt done.
I'd already lit the woodburner, and was hoovering the ashes from the hearth. I opened the burner door and hoovered some ashes from the edge that were about to drop.
Some red hot embersw whoosed up the tube, but I thought nothing of it and carried on blithely.
A minute later I smelt a nasty burning smell - of course! hot embers on a bed of dry dust with a strong air flow over them. A sort of miniature blast furnace!
Oh dear, red sparks flying out the air vents, and a nasty nasty lingering smell.
I havent checked the hoover yet, I think its OK.
I had a cigar to cover the smell, the gruppenfuhrer is none the wiser.
Oops
(Thu 20th Dec 2007, 15:43, More)
» Shoplifting
Good wine in cheap bottles
If you like a good wine:
1) Go to supermarket and buy two bottles. A very very good one, and the cheapest one of the same colour.
2) Drink the lovely Bordeaux / Burgundy etc. Keep cork.
3) Open the cheap wine and decant into expensive bottle
4) Return bottle to shop saying confidently "It's corked" and ask for a refund.
You can't do it too often, but its good for a treat.
(Mon 14th Jan 2008, 0:05, More)
Good wine in cheap bottles
If you like a good wine:
1) Go to supermarket and buy two bottles. A very very good one, and the cheapest one of the same colour.
2) Drink the lovely Bordeaux / Burgundy etc. Keep cork.
3) Open the cheap wine and decant into expensive bottle
4) Return bottle to shop saying confidently "It's corked" and ask for a refund.
You can't do it too often, but its good for a treat.
(Mon 14th Jan 2008, 0:05, More)
» Political Correctness Gone Mad
Copper corrects me
I was once told off by the local Police Area Commander for saying 'Nitty Gritty'. Its racist, apparently. Fucking filth. I threw him down the stairs.
(Fri 23rd Nov 2007, 0:25, More)
Copper corrects me
I was once told off by the local Police Area Commander for saying 'Nitty Gritty'. Its racist, apparently. Fucking filth. I threw him down the stairs.
(Fri 23rd Nov 2007, 0:25, More)