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» Accidentally Erotic
Late one evening, slightly worse for wear
I suggested to my friend that he attempt to jump from a signpost to a lamp-post. I turned round giggling at the prospect and started mumbling at someone else, not realising he would actually go and bloody try it. The fool. He did it, and to cut a long story short, split his urethra and had to be rushed to hospital. This is where it gets relevant.
This friend was subsequently diagnosed with a broken dick, reblooded as he had lost quite a bit of the red juice, and stitched up.
As all men will know, there is a phenomenen, as yet unexplained, know in scientific circles as "morning wood".
My friend found out that this is sufficient to break medical stitches.
Every bloody morning
Possibly leading to him having to stay in hospital for 10 days.
And to cap it all off, all of these minor medical matters (changing bandages, re-stitching, shaving, inserting cameras up the urethra etc.) were done by rather attractive nurses.
Ah.
He lost count of the numbers of times he had to be restitched.
Apologies for length, girth, and scars
(Thu 2nd Feb 2006, 21:46, More)
Late one evening, slightly worse for wear
I suggested to my friend that he attempt to jump from a signpost to a lamp-post. I turned round giggling at the prospect and started mumbling at someone else, not realising he would actually go and bloody try it. The fool. He did it, and to cut a long story short, split his urethra and had to be rushed to hospital. This is where it gets relevant.
This friend was subsequently diagnosed with a broken dick, reblooded as he had lost quite a bit of the red juice, and stitched up.
As all men will know, there is a phenomenen, as yet unexplained, know in scientific circles as "morning wood".
My friend found out that this is sufficient to break medical stitches.
Every bloody morning
Possibly leading to him having to stay in hospital for 10 days.
And to cap it all off, all of these minor medical matters (changing bandages, re-stitching, shaving, inserting cameras up the urethra etc.) were done by rather attractive nurses.
Ah.
He lost count of the numbers of times he had to be restitched.
Apologies for length, girth, and scars
(Thu 2nd Feb 2006, 21:46, More)
» Have you ever paid for sex?
About two years ago
one of my best friends at that point, before he had a bit of a sociopathic moment, shall we say, played for the other team. The team that could be called 'Bummers Utd.' (Note here that I do not, in case you're wondering)
Anyway, we were at one of these rainbow bars when this guy gets chatting to this very dirty looking old man. Note here that my friend is 17. And this man looks about 60
After a bit they disappear into the toilets. And reappear a while later.
What transpired was that the old man had offered my friend 50 quid to let him (The old man) give my friend a blow job. In the toilets. right there and then.
So my friend accepted.
He then told us that as the man left he whispered in his ear that he 'was staying in such-and-such a hotel, room such-and-such' and to come find him later.
My friend actually debated whether or not to go.
Much to his seeming delight we called him rent-boy for about a month untill we realised it wasn't annoying him, so went back to calling him bum-fiend
(Sat 21st Jan 2006, 1:55, More)
About two years ago
one of my best friends at that point, before he had a bit of a sociopathic moment, shall we say, played for the other team. The team that could be called 'Bummers Utd.' (Note here that I do not, in case you're wondering)
Anyway, we were at one of these rainbow bars when this guy gets chatting to this very dirty looking old man. Note here that my friend is 17. And this man looks about 60
After a bit they disappear into the toilets. And reappear a while later.
What transpired was that the old man had offered my friend 50 quid to let him (The old man) give my friend a blow job. In the toilets. right there and then.
So my friend accepted.
He then told us that as the man left he whispered in his ear that he 'was staying in such-and-such a hotel, room such-and-such' and to come find him later.
My friend actually debated whether or not to go.
Much to his seeming delight we called him rent-boy for about a month untill we realised it wasn't annoying him, so went back to calling him bum-fiend
(Sat 21st Jan 2006, 1:55, More)
» Sacked
Moral Dilemma
My climbing instructor once told me about his friend who, one day, woke up, looked at his life, what he was doing, and just thought "Fcuk, what the hell am I doing in this job? It will achieve nothing in the long term, and morally it's on the level of raping dead kittens".
He didn't go into work that day, or the next, or the next, and was eventually fired.
His job? (no, not telesales)
Designing detonation devices for nuclear warheads.
(Sun 26th Feb 2006, 11:29, More)
Moral Dilemma
My climbing instructor once told me about his friend who, one day, woke up, looked at his life, what he was doing, and just thought "Fcuk, what the hell am I doing in this job? It will achieve nothing in the long term, and morally it's on the level of raping dead kittens".
He didn't go into work that day, or the next, or the next, and was eventually fired.
His job? (no, not telesales)
Designing detonation devices for nuclear warheads.
(Sun 26th Feb 2006, 11:29, More)
» Heckles
Big man, small instrument?
I was at a tiny little jazz bar, watching the open mic-night, and on comes a guy with an ukelele.
To which someone shouts "It's a giant!"
There was a moments pause, followed by the whole bar getting it and collapsing in laughter.
He was fucking incredible as well, if you've seen the vid of the guy playing 'while my guitar gently weeps' on one you'll see what I mean.
(Wed 12th Apr 2006, 19:00, More)
Big man, small instrument?
I was at a tiny little jazz bar, watching the open mic-night, and on comes a guy with an ukelele.
To which someone shouts "It's a giant!"
There was a moments pause, followed by the whole bar getting it and collapsing in laughter.
He was fucking incredible as well, if you've seen the vid of the guy playing 'while my guitar gently weeps' on one you'll see what I mean.
(Wed 12th Apr 2006, 19:00, More)