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- a member for 18 years, 3 months and 2 days
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» I hurt my rude bits
Cheesy Wotsit
Not me, but.....
After an lenghty game of hide the sausage with his ladyfriend, and using up a large amount of calories in the process, my mate gets the munchies and pops downstairs to the kitchen to pop on some cheese on toast. The post-coital snack preparation is going well, but it's taking some time, so ladyfriend pops down to see what's going on. Seeing my friend's naked bottom was too much for the poor girl and she gives it a friendly slap....
Unfortunately, my friend didn't see this coming and jolts foward in suprise, jamming his cock and balls into the hot grill. I'm not going into the details but hot cheese sticks like edible napalm.
Cheesy wotsit, indeed.
(Fri 14th Jul 2006, 12:28, More)
Cheesy Wotsit
Not me, but.....
After an lenghty game of hide the sausage with his ladyfriend, and using up a large amount of calories in the process, my mate gets the munchies and pops downstairs to the kitchen to pop on some cheese on toast. The post-coital snack preparation is going well, but it's taking some time, so ladyfriend pops down to see what's going on. Seeing my friend's naked bottom was too much for the poor girl and she gives it a friendly slap....
Unfortunately, my friend didn't see this coming and jolts foward in suprise, jamming his cock and balls into the hot grill. I'm not going into the details but hot cheese sticks like edible napalm.
Cheesy wotsit, indeed.
(Fri 14th Jul 2006, 12:28, More)
» School Projects
Santa's Dick
It was playschool. It was Christmas. I was four. Our lovely, pretty, fragrant teacher asked us all to make decorations for a christmas tree and I decided that I'd make a cardboard and cotton wool father christmas. This was probably the day after Sarah had shown me "hers" for a bite on my mars bar - At least, I know that I was recently very aware that boys and girls are different. And father christmas is a boy, right? So I built him as such - a big cardboard cock hung proudly between his legs.
Fragrant teacher came smilingly over to my table, took a look and, still smiling, CUT IT OFF!
I'm nearly fourty now, but my mum still puts the same decoration at the top of the christmas tree, and if a pretty girl smiles at me with scissors in her hand.....arrrgh!3
(Fri 14th Aug 2009, 9:23, More)
Santa's Dick
It was playschool. It was Christmas. I was four. Our lovely, pretty, fragrant teacher asked us all to make decorations for a christmas tree and I decided that I'd make a cardboard and cotton wool father christmas. This was probably the day after Sarah had shown me "hers" for a bite on my mars bar - At least, I know that I was recently very aware that boys and girls are different. And father christmas is a boy, right? So I built him as such - a big cardboard cock hung proudly between his legs.
Fragrant teacher came smilingly over to my table, took a look and, still smiling, CUT IT OFF!
I'm nearly fourty now, but my mum still puts the same decoration at the top of the christmas tree, and if a pretty girl smiles at me with scissors in her hand.....arrrgh!3
(Fri 14th Aug 2009, 9:23, More)
» Going Too Far
Diverting Behaviour
There was a young lad in our halls at uni that was every bit the shy, socially-inept engineering stereotype and being from the sticks most things seemed to frighten him, including booze, women, bright-lights, horseless carriages etc.
Being charitable types, my friends and I decided to take him under our wing. I'm not saying that we were the naughtiest students, but we knew how to have a good time, and this involved the occasional drunken prank or two.
Initially, however, he was not a promising student - the first time we took him out for a drink, he'd fallen over and broken his collarbone by 8pm. He improved swiftly though, and it wasn't long before he'd dismantled his first pub bench and reassembled it in my room. Perhaps setting fire to it was going to far but, no, he was destined for bigger and better things.
It was the third year and our little lad had flown the nest and had his own social network, of which he was King Nerd (there are some things we couldn't change). At the time there were major road works going on on the dual-carriageway that passed by our glorious alma mater (That's university for any one that went to a tech). One morning there seemed to be a hell of a lot more traffic around campus than usual. It seems that our enterprising young student had spent the whole evening carefully moving the traffic cones for about a mile stretch of the dual-carriageway forcing the entire London to Brighton traffic through University grounds! For those commuters it was definitely going to far. (sorry)
(Fri 10th Nov 2006, 17:33, More)
Diverting Behaviour
There was a young lad in our halls at uni that was every bit the shy, socially-inept engineering stereotype and being from the sticks most things seemed to frighten him, including booze, women, bright-lights, horseless carriages etc.
Being charitable types, my friends and I decided to take him under our wing. I'm not saying that we were the naughtiest students, but we knew how to have a good time, and this involved the occasional drunken prank or two.
Initially, however, he was not a promising student - the first time we took him out for a drink, he'd fallen over and broken his collarbone by 8pm. He improved swiftly though, and it wasn't long before he'd dismantled his first pub bench and reassembled it in my room. Perhaps setting fire to it was going to far but, no, he was destined for bigger and better things.
It was the third year and our little lad had flown the nest and had his own social network, of which he was King Nerd (there are some things we couldn't change). At the time there were major road works going on on the dual-carriageway that passed by our glorious alma mater (That's university for any one that went to a tech). One morning there seemed to be a hell of a lot more traffic around campus than usual. It seems that our enterprising young student had spent the whole evening carefully moving the traffic cones for about a mile stretch of the dual-carriageway forcing the entire London to Brighton traffic through University grounds! For those commuters it was definitely going to far. (sorry)
(Fri 10th Nov 2006, 17:33, More)
» Heckles
Not a heckle
Having a penchant for the crazee guitar bands of the mid to late 80s, I found myself watching WASP at the Wedgewood Rooms in Portsmuff. Them being pretty rubbish and me being pretty drunk, I entertained myself by tying the shoelaces of the bassist together. (If you've ever been there, you'll know that they don't bother with nancy boy stuff like security or cordons). Rik Fox to his great credit managed not to fall over, but did do a funny little dance which was very well received by the people of Pompey. Mr Fox seemed quite grateful that he was suddenly thrust from a supporting role into the limelight of adulation - he gave me his pint. well he poured it over my head.
(Fri 7th Apr 2006, 11:49, More)
Not a heckle
Having a penchant for the crazee guitar bands of the mid to late 80s, I found myself watching WASP at the Wedgewood Rooms in Portsmuff. Them being pretty rubbish and me being pretty drunk, I entertained myself by tying the shoelaces of the bassist together. (If you've ever been there, you'll know that they don't bother with nancy boy stuff like security or cordons). Rik Fox to his great credit managed not to fall over, but did do a funny little dance which was very well received by the people of Pompey. Mr Fox seemed quite grateful that he was suddenly thrust from a supporting role into the limelight of adulation - he gave me his pint. well he poured it over my head.
(Fri 7th Apr 2006, 11:49, More)