» Beautiful but Bonkers

Let's live together
Well we had for a few years until she decided to do "The Big OE" (i.e. leave NZ for the UK). so that's fine, yep ok - see you over there some time. You need to find yourself etc, Auckland is too small...drugs are not freely available....you can't make as much of an arse of yourself here as you can when surrounded by other Kiwis / Ockers in some crap London bar.

So I travel to London 2 days before my 30th. Meet up and stay at hers. Meet with other NZ friends..good times...late nights etc etc. Nothing definite from her but that's cool - we'd both been shagging others.

SHE then comes back at Xmas (6 months later). by this time I am pretty serious with what would become Mrs Wino. She comes over to my place (still by myself at this stage) and we go to some local bars / restaurants. Drinks/nice food....blah blah lots of light talk. Eventually I tell her about the other one (future Mrs) and how I am not interested in going back to her hotel etc...that's ok, nice goodbyes etc later on. No dramas there and here's me thinking all's well that ends...

The funny stuff started a few months later. First mail started arrving addressed to either her or both of us....Hmmmm...by this stage Mrs Wino was living at mine and getting a little hot under the collar. More mail arrvied - junk stuff mainly until i received the pohone bill...

Hmmmm "Mr & Mrs [insert jealous ex's surname here]" ....looks funny. I ring the telco - ah yes, that's corretc sir, you are listed as that. I check the recently arrived new phone book: fuck that! She has listed the both of us as a married couple at my address WITH HER SURNAME! oh dear....From memory I emailed her and asked here wtf she thought she was upto...bleating and tears ensued (from her you dolt).

Sounds all fairly trivial I know but just goes to show how even the most outwardly "normal" wench can come a cropper and cause some grief.

** Long time lurker / first time poster ** No lame phallic metaphors apart from yes, length a little long, but width is the true star.
(Wed 22nd Nov 2006, 3:03, More)

» Mistaken Identity

and
then followed that up by being misidentified and taken. Went home with a right good time girl. fun!
(Tue 5th Jun 2007, 11:48, More)

» Mistaken Identity

mistaken?
no not really...at a party few summers ago. Guy comes up to me - "Hey - you're wino.nz aren't you? You're a wanker blah blah blah..." turns out I pissed him off at another party years earlier when he was a teen. No recollection of him whatsoever so fuck him.
(Tue 5th Jun 2007, 11:42, More)

» Best Graffiti Ever

back in the day in Auckland
"Be alert - your country needs lerts."
yes ok lame I know, but hell, this was a nation with two (2!) tv channels at the time....

or yours truly borrowing from Genesis P Orridge: did the whole side of the local bakery in a huge yellow and black Psychic TV logo with the missive "Technology will be thee end of us..." funny that I have been in IT for a number of years now and still consider it fairly accurate.

Where's ape and frank? off together?

Stayed there for a while too...maybe the Chinese bakers thought something of it.
(Mon 7th May 2007, 10:35, More)

» Pet Stories

puss...
Ferdinand the Great (RIP). legendary Persian - complete with the munted face. Probabaly contributed to his excessive purring volume - esp as he loved to be on the bed - and oooh yeah! let that motor mower rip at 3am...heh heh.

yep - big mf'n rats from around the compost, birds but not quite the herons who came down for the goldfish.

He was a real hero - until yours truly flew the coop at 18 and took him off to a flat near a lot of bush. Lo and behold we are then hit by 3 days of rain. Guess who didn't come back?

Still feel crap about it too...
(Thu 14th Jun 2007, 11:10, More)