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» Messing with people's heads
A ten year wait is nothing compared to 16 years for "The Phantom Menace"
1996 was not a great year. Amongst many jobs I had that year was working for 6 weeks for a industry computer / IT firm in an unheated garage in Birmingham (where, amongst other things, I found "Dans Gallery Of The Grotesque") and was a phone monkey trying to sell IT kit by cold calling endlessly off an infertile list of jaded purchasing staff and IT helpdesks. In the midst of a biting rainstorm, I - and most of the other new staff - decided to congregate away from the wind in the entrance hall which had a buzzer for visitors to announce themselves. We discuss the utter hopelessness of our careers and the frankly absurd targets we had been set. One by one, we were marched in and made jobless within an hour of returning to without being given a reason. (I even asked explicitly to be told "No reason".)
The reason being, of course, that the man who had built this company up from dirt with his bare hands had spent the hour in his office listening to our conversation about his utterly hopeless way of running a business. The kind of person who, if his name was incorrectly spelt on a letter ("Steven" spelt "Stephen", for example), threw away any letter from anybody, no matter how important or expensive the consequences of that were. His ego was matched only in size by his uncomprehending denseness.
Fast forward 10 years, and I am leading the purchasing decision for a major IT Project for my employer worth millions of quid. Said firm - and in fact, the self same person that fired me a decade earlier - submits a gloriously hopeless (and piss poor) bid to provide the service. When I signed the rejection letter and awarded it to someone else, I almost smiled. I wonder if he ever connected losing the biggest contract he had bid for that year (which was three months total revenue for his entire firm at the time) with the kid he fired without even providing a reason a decade earlier.
But as I intimated, to call him "thick as pigshit" would be an insult to the pigshit.
(Fri 13th Jan 2012, 22:45, More)
A ten year wait is nothing compared to 16 years for "The Phantom Menace"
1996 was not a great year. Amongst many jobs I had that year was working for 6 weeks for a industry computer / IT firm in an unheated garage in Birmingham (where, amongst other things, I found "Dans Gallery Of The Grotesque") and was a phone monkey trying to sell IT kit by cold calling endlessly off an infertile list of jaded purchasing staff and IT helpdesks. In the midst of a biting rainstorm, I - and most of the other new staff - decided to congregate away from the wind in the entrance hall which had a buzzer for visitors to announce themselves. We discuss the utter hopelessness of our careers and the frankly absurd targets we had been set. One by one, we were marched in and made jobless within an hour of returning to without being given a reason. (I even asked explicitly to be told "No reason".)
The reason being, of course, that the man who had built this company up from dirt with his bare hands had spent the hour in his office listening to our conversation about his utterly hopeless way of running a business. The kind of person who, if his name was incorrectly spelt on a letter ("Steven" spelt "Stephen", for example), threw away any letter from anybody, no matter how important or expensive the consequences of that were. His ego was matched only in size by his uncomprehending denseness.
Fast forward 10 years, and I am leading the purchasing decision for a major IT Project for my employer worth millions of quid. Said firm - and in fact, the self same person that fired me a decade earlier - submits a gloriously hopeless (and piss poor) bid to provide the service. When I signed the rejection letter and awarded it to someone else, I almost smiled. I wonder if he ever connected losing the biggest contract he had bid for that year (which was three months total revenue for his entire firm at the time) with the kid he fired without even providing a reason a decade earlier.
But as I intimated, to call him "thick as pigshit" would be an insult to the pigshit.
(Fri 13th Jan 2012, 22:45, More)
» Other people's diaries
Not My Brothers Keeper
My brother kept a diary in the early 90's. At the time he was seeing some average chunky goth girl. When he was out, I popped into his room to find this book in there. A typical entry would read "Good shag. O, 69, etc. Spunked in her. Kicked her out and went to work." Charming. No wonder she dumped him. Following entries, when he was unemployed, would read.. "Got up at 11... had 6 hour wank, stopped because people would be coming back from work."
Later on, he hacked into my email account because an ex had asked him to. Unsurprisingly, the fact that someone may have a boyfriend (even if that boyfriend happens to be his own brother), is no impediment to him trying to get them to go to bed with him.
Luckily, he's the Evil Twin.
(Sat 3rd Feb 2007, 10:00, More)
Not My Brothers Keeper
My brother kept a diary in the early 90's. At the time he was seeing some average chunky goth girl. When he was out, I popped into his room to find this book in there. A typical entry would read "Good shag. O, 69, etc. Spunked in her. Kicked her out and went to work." Charming. No wonder she dumped him. Following entries, when he was unemployed, would read.. "Got up at 11... had 6 hour wank, stopped because people would be coming back from work."
Later on, he hacked into my email account because an ex had asked him to. Unsurprisingly, the fact that someone may have a boyfriend (even if that boyfriend happens to be his own brother), is no impediment to him trying to get them to go to bed with him.
Luckily, he's the Evil Twin.
(Sat 3rd Feb 2007, 10:00, More)
» Job Interview Disasters
We forgot to mention the job involves being a kidnap risk in a corrupt destitute country
About 13 years ago, I was interviewing for an advisory consultant role for a trade organisation. Pretty dull, and the salary was below average, but I needed another job and this was walking distance from home. About half way through they asked how I felt about travelling for work. "That would be fine". How would I feel about spending a week a month in Africa (as a prisoner in a hotel, advising corrupt governments on best practice, and potentially being kidnapped)? My first thought was "You gotta be fucking kidding, when were you going to mention that?" What left my mouth was "That would be inconvenient."
On the way back I rang the agency, and warned not to waste anyone's time like that again.
(Sat 23rd Nov 2013, 15:34, More)
We forgot to mention the job involves being a kidnap risk in a corrupt destitute country
About 13 years ago, I was interviewing for an advisory consultant role for a trade organisation. Pretty dull, and the salary was below average, but I needed another job and this was walking distance from home. About half way through they asked how I felt about travelling for work. "That would be fine". How would I feel about spending a week a month in Africa (as a prisoner in a hotel, advising corrupt governments on best practice, and potentially being kidnapped)? My first thought was "You gotta be fucking kidding, when were you going to mention that?" What left my mouth was "That would be inconvenient."
On the way back I rang the agency, and warned not to waste anyone's time like that again.
(Sat 23rd Nov 2013, 15:34, More)
» Stalked
stalker
...not so much stalking as being accused of stalking. My ex was one of those people who felt that whatever they did or chose was RIGHT, by virtue of the fact that they were always right. Years ago, I had a website that my ex found. Despite not talking to her for about two years, let alone mentioning her on it, I found my guest book full of her rather bizarre rambles about how I was stalking her. In the end I sent her a fairly clear and direct message asking her to leave me alone.
About 11pm on a Friday night I got an email from someone I'd never heard of, threatening to break my legs and never try to contact his girlfriend again. "With pleasure", I thought. Anyway, they're probably happily married now. Good for them.
Well, if I was going to stalk someone, I'd be pretty picky about who I'd stalk anyway..
(Fri 1st Feb 2008, 23:26, More)
stalker
...not so much stalking as being accused of stalking. My ex was one of those people who felt that whatever they did or chose was RIGHT, by virtue of the fact that they were always right. Years ago, I had a website that my ex found. Despite not talking to her for about two years, let alone mentioning her on it, I found my guest book full of her rather bizarre rambles about how I was stalking her. In the end I sent her a fairly clear and direct message asking her to leave me alone.
About 11pm on a Friday night I got an email from someone I'd never heard of, threatening to break my legs and never try to contact his girlfriend again. "With pleasure", I thought. Anyway, they're probably happily married now. Good for them.
Well, if I was going to stalk someone, I'd be pretty picky about who I'd stalk anyway..
(Fri 1st Feb 2008, 23:26, More)