» Crap meals out

It's bloody true...
Was living in the US at the time, and had some friends from Blighty over to visit. Being close to Vegas we decided to visit to sample all the local delights. It seems like every casino has a buffet, so we do as the Vegans do, and join the buffet at Circvs Maximvs or some similar hellhole. Buffet consisted of lots of different types of meat (carvery), wilted salad, dry pasta and those deserts that have a really high shine to them. All was fine until I just get outside the casino, when I get the most heinous stomach cramps. Cue a rabid sprint to the toilet (and if you've been to Vegas you'll know things are deliberately NOT signposted very well) where I just about make it to unload my large intestine at a speed approaching MACH2. The smell was so bad, it felt like it was the end of the world.

Still, I was somewhat tickled to hear my chum dash in about 30 seconds later, and suffer the familiar groan, splash, groan "urgh" pattern. Every time I go to any sort of buffet now, my bowels do a little flip and I automatically check out where the nearest loo is.

Oh, I also had an apple from a supermarket in Los Angeles which I didn't wash very well. That knocked me out for 24hours.

And they have the nerve to call our food shit.
(Tue 2nd May 2006, 13:34, More)