» Being told off as an adult

Cat Lady
A few weeks ago I was parking the car on the pavement in front of our house. As usual the retard cat from next door had conveniently placed itself in front of the car.

Commenting to my partner and his friend I said 'One of these days I'm going to run over that cat' a few seconds later a woman appeared a few doors down and said 'EXCUSE ME. Don't you think it's a little mean to say that about someone elses cat?' followed by a torrent of abuse about how I should grow up.

Of course my partner stood there like a stunned animal leaving me to stand up for myself (which is out of character for me) she eventually got bored and slammed the door shut. Every time I see/hear that cat I have visions of kicking it under her car just to get back at her.

Bitch.
(Fri 21st Sep 2007, 6:06, More)

» Personal Ads

Brotherly Love?
My more attractive cousin who is a year older than me was dating a reletively hot but very dull man several years ago. (Not too dissimilar to her current reletively hot but duller than dishwater man who's life revolves around Stoke football team and his hair) But anyway, said previous boyfriend and my cousin who we shall call Mary for that is not her name (I'm not sure if she or her man use this site) decided to set me up with his brother.

So, after a brief conversation on msn (before the days of uploading pics) we agreed to meet on the local train station. Of course given that Mary's man was tall, slim with brown eyes and floppy hair, I figured his brother wouldn't be too dissimilar. How wrong can a person be? Well, I was wrong. After all the semi decent looking people had filtered off the train and my suitor waddled into view I had to hold off the urge to vomit.

Tall? Yes about as tall as he was fat! Blue eyes set back in a face that simply joined to his body via a neck of pure fat. He was dressed in a tshirt that could have acted as a 4 man tent and had ginger hair that possibly hadn't seen a shower in several months. He also smellt bad.

As if sitting in silence wasn't bad enough, he proceeded to eat two large meals in McDonalds (possibly Super Size) washed down with coke and 2 icecreams. While I sat nursing a diet coke with the voices in my head on constant scream and informing me if I didn't exit soon they would force my hands to gouge out my eyes. I promptly made my excuses (again) and left.
(Fri 14th Sep 2007, 5:55, More)

» I Drank Meths (pointless teenage things you did to shock)

Torturing teachers
I spent most of my teenage years being bullied, but I had my moments.

The boy who spent his life torturing me got what was coming to him when I smashed his head into a wall in English class and got the entire 6th form chase him through the school. Oh the joy of having a cousin in 6th form.

I used to have a hat obession in high school. One the supply biology teacher took a particular dislike to. After refusing to take it off about 476 times she went to get the head of year and I promtly threw it to someone else in the room and they put it in their bag. Que teacher screaming in a demented way 'But she was wearing a hat!!!, check her bag!' que lots of laughter, one very pissed head of year and me thinking I was the dogs' bollocks. I heard she had a nervous breakdown after working in our school.

I also ran away from home, hurled by enemys hampster at all wall and etched things into my skin with a blunt necklace. But those are all other stories.

Length? about 10 years...
(Thu 19th Jul 2007, 19:31, More)

» That's me on TV!

North West Wales tonight...
...filmed a piece at my old house about missold PPI (payment protection insurance) Aside from the fact I was chuffed I'd managed to con almost 2k out of my scummy bank, they'd cut all the interview and I ended up sounding like a 'tard. I was gutted my hideous pink sofa, and dvd collection were in the background.

To top it all off the fuckers trod oil into my beige carpet.
(Wed 17th Jun 2009, 7:38, More)

» Bullies

Bullies
Time to get my 2pence worth in methinks!

In hindsight I wasn't really the ideal victim until I hit highschool. But the bullying started for me on my very own street. There was this vile snotrag called Leanne who loved nothing more than making my life hell, I would come in sobbing almost daily when she had hit me/said something mean/set her brother on me and a friend with tennis rackets. My mum was at her wits end and shouted at me one day that if I didn't hit her back she would hit me. I was so shocked that my mum had said this that I did run outside, volleyed over our wall and laid into the bitch. I'd like to think I thrashed her ass karate kid stylee, but I imagine it was more like hair pulling, kicking, biting and scratching. My mum dragged me off her after she let out a scream that sounded something similar to a pig being decapitated. She never passed my house alone after that, only ever with a bigger, even more venomous slag called Karen.
(Thu 21st May 2009, 9:50, More)