» Family Feuds

My mother and my ex-wife
never used to get on. My mother always thought she wasn't good enough for me, and after we split up and she started dating this other fella she had them both killed in a car crash and made it look like an accident.
(Thu 12th Nov 2009, 12:51, More)

» Top Tips

Fancy winding up your friends?
At the end of every text you send, cut off half the last word, and replace it with *some text missing*.
(Mon 27th Jul 2009, 19:09, More)

» The most childish thing you've done as an adult

Tescos
Every time my friend and I go to Tescos, we always walk through the toys section.

Without fail, we'll both pick up foam swords and shields, shout "EN GARDE" at the top of our voices, and then proceed to have a sword fight throughout the aisles. We take it in turns to die emphatically each time we go, and we haven't yet been kicked out.

We get funny looks off of people, but we revel in the fact we know that mostly everyone in the store finds it at least a little bit entertaining.

I think the best part of it all though, is the jealous looks we get off of all the 3-9 year olds, who obviously want to join in but would get a right bollocking off of their parents if they even tried it.

Good times.
(Sat 19th Sep 2009, 12:43, More)

» Best Graffiti Ever

inside a toilet cubicle.....
someone had drawn around their hands on either side of the cubicle, and written:

'In case of emergency, place hands here.'

gave me a chuckle.
(Mon 7th May 2007, 19:34, More)

» Terrible food

not me but....
in the village i live in, there was a bit of a weirdo, who shall remain unnamed, as he's already had enough of a caining to last a lifetime and then some.

For some reason, he had no friends his own age, so he hung around with me and my friends (must have been about 3 years older than us).

One day, he was being distinctly annoying, so in a bid to be rid of him, we told him one of our friends had bought the park (which we were currently chillin in).

In turn, our said friend said, either eat some dog shit, or fuck off. You can imagine our shock when, instead of opting to fuck off, like a normal person, he proceded to pick up the nearest piece of dog shit (which has an omnipresence throughout our turdhole village) and started munching.

A whole log and a half later, the look of utmost horror and shock on mine and my friends faces had melted into pissing our pants with laughter.

Dirty fucker.

looking back, it should not have been such a surprise, considering his brother was an equally big social retard, and his uncle was the village tramp, who lived on a bench and drunk cider out of an empty 4 litre milk bottle.

Good Day.
(Sun 20th May 2007, 14:06, More)