» Customers from Hell

Location Specfic
I work at a place where we get lots of businesses phone in so we always ask 'where are you phoning from?'

If it isn't a business they usually say 'it is about xyz client' or something so you can sort them out faster.

However you do get the odd one...

"Can i speak to Joanna please?"

"Who can i say is calling?

"John Smith"

"And where are you phoning from?"

".....the front room."

Genius.

5t.
(Thu 4th Sep 2008, 17:28, More)

» Debt pron

HSBeasts
I don't have too many issues with finance, being rather poor as a child taught me a lot about the value of money and having to work for it, that said i have 3 credit cards at the moment (although i only use one and pay off the balance each month it is just for online purchases).

Anyway, i registered a card i don't use (and is still at my parents address not my own house i bought a few years ago) to register for PayPal. since i don't really trust it and reckon its a bit of a con i usually send cheques, for once i didn't and paid £2.04p for something.

Picking the bill up 3 days after the payment date i went in and paid cash. Next month i get a bill for £2.06p

Called up HSBC and explained i'd paid the bill and had they recieved my £2.04p? The confirmed they had but said i owed them 2p interest!

They weren't having any of it the tight gits so i paid it over the counter.... with a cheque. Apparently it costs the bank a good few pence to process a cheque so that'll learn em!

Not expecting to make a huge dent in the profits but the cashiers face when i wrote a cheque out for 2p was priceless.

5t
(Fri 24th Nov 2006, 13:25, More)

» Bastard Colleagues

Currently....
... it's me. I have a very annoying persistent cough at the moment and i'm taking sneaky joy in the fact that two different collegues have today asked me if i REALLY think i'm well enough to work.

Have it at you! *cough*
(Thu 24th Jan 2008, 15:29, More)

» Pubs

Harley Bull
Anyone from the Chapeltown area of Sheffield (not the more dubious one in Leeds) will be familiar with the "Harley Bull"

A mad woman, sorry, care in the community, mentally challened person who lived down the road in nearby Harley (no idea where the bull bit came from), she was a nightmare to local publicans.

I used to work at one of her closest hostelries, the Norfolk Arms and the landlord would do anything to keep her out, mainly because she stank and shouted a lot.

She burst in one afternoon on a red hot day clutching a carrier bag and wearing her patented green coat (thick) with stains all over it and a wooly jumper.

"We're closed"

barks a landlord actually sprinting out of the restaurant followed by

"Don't no-one say anything to her!"

She countered by asking for a Guinness before being reminded several times that we had stopped serving.

"When was last orders?" she finally enquired

A glance at the clock revealed it to be 2:05pm on a Saturday afternoon

"2pm" replies landlord - "now out!"

To fill her time she then proceeded to spend the rest of the afternoon stood over the road waving at passing cars. If anyone actually waved back she'd scream "fuck off!" and give them the fingers.

She also remained oblivious to the fact people were in and out of the 'closed' pub all day.


Additional - my dad actually had to go and do some work in the council house she shared with her sister. They had decorated the place with Heinz bean tin lables. They were just slapped all over the wall and they were quite proud of the look.
(Thu 12th Feb 2009, 12:35, More)

» Spoooky Coincidence

Streetlamps
Reminded by other stories...

Driving along one evening and the lamp went off as i drove under it, the next one did the same, then the next. At this point my arse was biting lumps out of the seat as i was convinced i was going into the twilight zone. Having held my breath approaching the next lamp nothing happened at all and i felt like a right narna for evening thinking it.

Also did a similar trick putting the office lights on one morning. We all had ikea uplighters by our desks and first person in had to turn them all on. The bulbs blew in the first four i did so i just sat in the dark until someone else came in to do the rest, just in case.

And i looked down at the mileometer this morning to see it roll from 44443 to 44444. Love it when that happens.

5t
(Wed 14th Feb 2007, 17:37, More)