» I spied on someone...


I'm an IT Manager. So I have control over all the mail servers and internal comms in our company. I was asked by a Director to remove a couple of emails accidentally sent to two members of staff, before they returned to work the following day. This I duly did. However while there I discovered that these two people spend most of the day bitching about pretty much everyone in the company (including their boss), usually while being extremely friendly to their face - often they are typing these vicious emails to each other WHILE having the conversation with their 'target'. Horribly two-faced. What gets on my tits is all the stuff they say about me though. I'm now addicted to it and getting myself more and more wound up every day. I can't reveal I've seen their mail because it makes me look unprofessional. But I've opened Pandora's box and now hate going to work. Serves me right I guess!

Although they have broken the two Golden Rules of the office - (1) Don't use work email for personal communications, and (2) Don't piss off the IT Manager.
(Tue 7th Jan 2014, 15:54, More)

» Destruction, Demolition and Deconstruction

It blew up in my face
I went through a very nerdy phase as a teenager, and instead of chasing women I spent a couple of summer holidays building pirate radio transmitters. (It was about 1990 and I wanted to be Christian Slater in Pump Up The Volume.) Anyway I was testing a new contraption, hunched over the circuit board while the thing was on air at full power, fine tuning it. In electronics there are these components called electrolytic capacitors, which you have to have the correct way round in a circuit (a bit like the way a battery is polarised, with positive and negative terminals) - and I must have put one in the wrong way round. This is a Very Bad Thing. Without warning, one of these things violently exploded right in my face. Luckily I was wearing stylish NHS glasses so my eyeballs remained intact. The room was full of noxious fumes and glittering dust particles though. (And god knows what nasty chemicals are inside those things - my lifespan's probably been shortened by a few years.) But the transmitter even stayed on air. I have a healthy respect for those little evil things now. Good job I'm short sighted too, otherwise my eyeballs would have little bits of molten metal and plastic embedded in them.
(Mon 12th Nov 2012, 12:10, More)

» Driven to Madness

Using "turned around and said" or "was like that" instead of SAID.
As in
'He turned around to me and said, "Who do you think you're talking to?", so I turned around to him and said "Why, do you want to make something of it?" so I turned round and said.......' etc etc etc

and
' I was like that, "No I didn't" and he was like that, "yeah you did" '

They really really fuck me off.

Other than that, I'm Mr Tolerance. Probably.
(Tue 9th Oct 2012, 16:25, More)