» Rubbish Towns

Tenby
A tourist trap of a town whose centre is stuck in multiple timewarps - Late Norman, Tudor, Georgian, Victorian, Edwardian and everything else in between except modern, as all new builds in the centre are mock Georgian/Victorian. With everything facing the sea front painted in pastel hues.

The town itself possesses an abundance of hotels, B&B's, cafes, takeaways, 5 members clubs and 16 pubs (for a town of 6,000). There's bugger all in the way of high street chain stores for shopping [Smiths, Boots, New Look, Sainsburys, Tesco - that's it]. The nearest nightclubs are both 2 miles away from the town centre in opposite directions (great for the local Taxi's).

The only other recognisible form of entertainment, for those who are fed up of drinking, is the cinema with 1 screen and 1 showing per day outwith the summer holidays when it can be 2 showings per day, with the outside possibility of it being 2 different films. The exterior is brightly painted, the interior is however stuck in the 1970's with narrow brown velour seats, well worn 70's patterned red carpet throughout and a strong smell of damp in the auditorium. The only upside is that this usually means you have a near free pick of the seats for most blockbusters.

The sedate nature of the town makes it a magnet for retirees and those with young children. It is so quiet, that minor acts of vandalism, such as scratched cars and upturned benches, have been known to make it into the local paper, with the details of the PC assigned to the case given, so the cad can be apprehended.

Hence why most youths stay in education as long as possible to find an adequate means of escaping the town, with very few returning after uni.
(Fri 30th Oct 2009, 18:21, More)

» Darwin Awards

why child locks are a good thing
Many moons ago in the spring of 87, I was on a visit the long distance relatives family holiday. One evening when traveling from one house to another by taxi, with me in the passengers seat behind the driver. The next thing I remember is waking up next to a lit fireplace with a grazed ankle.

From my folks I found out that this bored sprog had decided to play with the door lock, and that thankfully, the car was going round a roundabout. It turns out that I flew out of the car and some how managed to survive with nothing more than a small graze.

Since then i'm less inclined to play with switches on dangerous things before having read the instruction book. It hasn't stopped me from having daft accidents, though none of them have yet to bring me as close to death.
(Fri 13th Feb 2009, 22:02, More)

» * PFFT *

echo/vibration
can remember being in my early teens, one night sitting on the top of the stairs, i let a loud one rip, with acoustic amplification from the narrow hall and wooden floorboards. caused the old man to go WTF!

personally, the best ones come from eating loads of fiery food - baked beans with extra hot chilli sauce (colon blow), or a stealthy extra strength vindaloo from the local curry house.

the hot sauce is lethal the first few times you use it; gave a friend a drop to try when sozzled once. the por girl needed a pint of milk to kill the burn.

the curry is stealthy because the vindaloo has a similar kick on the tongue to the madras/rogan josh, but undergoes internal conversion to lethality.

for smells, though, the stuff i can access as work have a fouler reek - bottles of pure amines, thiols and mercaptans(litres of eau du merde et poisson). the joys of being a research chemist
(Fri 13th Jul 2007, 23:28, More)

» What's the most horrific thing you've seen?

4 suzeefloozee & any1 else who is curious about harlequin babies but doesn't want pics
go to en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harlequin_baby

in a nut shell it's a skin disorder, which causes extremely quick turnover of skin cells, leading to very dry scaly skin which looks the diamonds of a harlequins costume and give the person very red skin. it also has unfortunate side effects - deformations of the face, skull, arms, feet, and fingers with a 'common' feature of a permanent clown like grin.

most suffers in the past failed to either reach or complete adolescence. the oldest living british person with this disorder is lucy betts @ 18 y.o.
(Mon 25th Jun 2007, 16:13, More)

» Banks

Clydesdael Galashiels
A Mate of mine used the Clydesdale bank cash machine at night during the time of night when they get their software update and it swallowed his card. He went back the following day with his passport to get his card back. The harridian's behind the security screen said they couldn't had over the card, so as to prevent fraud and instead it would have to be sent to for destruction; even though he was a French national with valid photographic ID - making it easier from him to prove himself in a small Scottish uni town. Instead he had to wait for a new card to be shipped over from France and hope that his wallet didn't run out of cash.
(Fri 17th Jul 2009, 18:14, More)