» Sleepwalking

Sleepwalking or selective memory
I promise you I remember nothing! Nothing!
I slept on my pull-out double bed last night this is important to the story (it's unusal I sleep on that bed which may have got me confused). Anyway I woke up this morning and Dad ask me if I knew what I did last night. I thought he was going to moan at me for leaving the front door open. How wrong I was.
At approx. 3am I had wandered into there room dropped my trousers and had a wee right by there bed. When asked what I was doing just said "don't worry it will all be over soon" I have never ever done anything like that before.
I didn't think I was that drunk last night so I tried to say I must have been sleepwalking and talking something I did at lot when I was younger. Dad then went "go look at the dog."
The poor beast someone had left the halloween make-up out and I had completely smothered him in the stuff.
I have no recollection of this either but was pretty impressed with my handywork.
Thinking back I remember almost nothing after having a drink of tequila in Opium. What did I do?
I dread to think what else I did last night and probably owe everyone an "I'm sorry"
I also woke up an hour late for work! Grr
I think I should stay home tonight.
(Thu 23rd Aug 2007, 1:09, More)

» Best Graffiti Ever

I have a perfectly normal relationship with my Dad but...
When I was 12 my friend Jam and I spent our time before the school bell rung together. One frosty morning we were arguing over whose Dad had the longer penis (Stop judging). To illustrate our points we drew willys minus balls (I bet neither of us knew they existed at that age, it was an all girls school) using just our fingers onto the walls of the black school shed. Need I say the more we argued the bigger the illustration got. Our finger marks remained for 7 years then they tore the shed down.
This was the shed where every weekday morning all the students would file past. I should have become some kind of God to my fellow students, yet in seven years never heard one person mention how strange it was for several drawings of cocks one being 6ft where. I think I went to The Robot School of No Sense of Humor or I was just an unfunny little shit.
(Fri 4th May 2007, 1:26, More)

» Useless advice

Sex
Having sex with as many men as possible will lead to you finding your one true love.
421 men so far and no mister right maybe time for a change of tatics?
(Thu 19th Oct 2006, 16:10, More)

» My Greatest Regrets

Only the one.
Not pushing the knife deeper into my wrists.
(Fri 6th Oct 2006, 0:27, More)

» Inappropriate crushes

Bart
Bart Simpson. But only when he had his hair in a side parting- like when he was going to church in the earlier episodes.
My 7 year old sister fancies him now!
(Tue 3rd Oct 2006, 0:14, More)