b3ta.com user skullface
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www.luketickner.com

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» Best Graffiti Ever

My first post!...
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Don't beam me up yet Scotty I'm doing a po o o o
.
(Thu 3rd May 2007, 17:50, More)

» Crazy Relatives

Seems logical?...
A few years ago I was in the car with my Gran and the rest of the family. While the car was stopped at some traffic lights my sister drew everyones attention to the little, furry-faced, old lady crossing the street in front of us. "Look at that old woman - she has a beard!" she said excitedly. My Gran simply turned round and said (completely seriously) "She's probably a lesbian."
!!
Nobody knew what to say to that.
(Tue 10th Jul 2007, 15:29, More)

» Expensive Mistakes

Chip & pin
I was paying for a meal in Pizza Express (around the time when chip & pin machines were first introduced). The waitress handed me the machine and I tapped in my pin number. Didn't realise that the gratuity option was first. ...I almost left a £8136 tip!

...oops! Now you know my pin.
(Fri 26th Oct 2007, 10:16, More)

» Terrible Parenting

Child abuse!
I was in a shop once and overheard a typically chavvy young mother telling off her noisy toddler. "I have two words for you" she said "Be... have!" I was still reeling from her stupidity when she topped it off by shouting "Stop it Armani!"
ARMANI ?!?!
Now that must be classed as child abuse!
(Tue 21st Aug 2007, 12:04, More)

» Terrible food

3 of his 5 a day
A few years ago i had people over to my house after the pub for a late-nighter. We were all pretty pissed and a conversation (somehow!?) arose about how some people eat the core of apples and don't throw anything away.

There was an apple in the fruit bowl and one of my mates proceeded to eat the whole thing. He was then dared to do the same with a banana... and he promptly ate it, skin and all!

But that wasn't good enough for us, out came a huge white onion! He ate it in about 5 mouthfuls!! In the morning he absolutely stunk - he had onion sweat seeping out his pores.
(Fri 18th May 2007, 14:02, More)
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