Profile for Danny Fishcharge:
Bloke
Yorkshire
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- a member for 17 years, 7 months and 17 days
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- has posted 8 messages on the talk board
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- has posted 40 stories and 0 replies on question of the week
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Bloke
Yorkshire
No tattoos, court injunctions or ASBOs
Recent front page messages:
none
Best answers to questions:
» Well, that taught 'em
Yay! Repost 1
One Nissan Micra less...
Long story cut short....
Fact: only arseholes/infirm/aged drive Nissan Micras. This has little bearing on anything but I feel better telling you.
A little man decides to pull out of a junction and turn right without noticing I'm travelling on the road he's just turned into. Result: weighed anchor narrowly missing him.
Generally I'm cool with idiots however, he makes that 'cheery wave after looking in his rear view like his just been let out of a junction through me being courteous and just wanting to test my brakes'. Gets to the queue at the light sand I'm at his door giving him my considered opinion.
He decides to lock his door and make rude gestures (brave and stupid - always a fun combo) so I grab his door handle which comes off in my hand. I then throw the broken handle at the window somewhat de-stressed and amused that this pathetic piece of Jap Crap has come apart with minimal effort.
Fast forward three weeks and there's a phone call from PC Plod. The half wit has taken my reg and called the Rozzers. Cue suitably apologetic conversation with an 'old school' copper who suggests I make amends by posting this numb nuts a cheque for the door handle and then he won't have to pay me a visit and fill in forms. I agree and the filth gives me his address!!!! (Data Protection - whats that?)
I dutifully sent off a cheque to the supplied address, waited 'til it cleared thus verifying the pillocks whereabouts and then in the still of the night paid his Micra a visit with iron filings. For those not of a destructive persuasion - sprinkling iron filings onto paintwork in a pattern (or words of your choice) overnight sees them a) become rusty with the condensation / dew / wet and b) eat into the paint / attach itself to the bodywork so that the only thing that can be done is the panel needs to be sanded flat and repainted. Not something an insurance firm will be doing on a ten year old car.....write off.
So - until the pay out (approx three weeks) and the long last drive to the knackers yard this one handled blue pile of sh*te drove around with 'wanker' in rust on the bonnet and sex pest on the roof.
Do I win a prize?
(Tue 17th Oct 2006, 15:28, More)
(Fri 27th Apr 2007, 10:48, More)
Yay! Repost 1
One Nissan Micra less...
Long story cut short....
Fact: only arseholes/infirm/aged drive Nissan Micras. This has little bearing on anything but I feel better telling you.
A little man decides to pull out of a junction and turn right without noticing I'm travelling on the road he's just turned into. Result: weighed anchor narrowly missing him.
Generally I'm cool with idiots however, he makes that 'cheery wave after looking in his rear view like his just been let out of a junction through me being courteous and just wanting to test my brakes'. Gets to the queue at the light sand I'm at his door giving him my considered opinion.
He decides to lock his door and make rude gestures (brave and stupid - always a fun combo) so I grab his door handle which comes off in my hand. I then throw the broken handle at the window somewhat de-stressed and amused that this pathetic piece of Jap Crap has come apart with minimal effort.
Fast forward three weeks and there's a phone call from PC Plod. The half wit has taken my reg and called the Rozzers. Cue suitably apologetic conversation with an 'old school' copper who suggests I make amends by posting this numb nuts a cheque for the door handle and then he won't have to pay me a visit and fill in forms. I agree and the filth gives me his address!!!! (Data Protection - whats that?)
I dutifully sent off a cheque to the supplied address, waited 'til it cleared thus verifying the pillocks whereabouts and then in the still of the night paid his Micra a visit with iron filings. For those not of a destructive persuasion - sprinkling iron filings onto paintwork in a pattern (or words of your choice) overnight sees them a) become rusty with the condensation / dew / wet and b) eat into the paint / attach itself to the bodywork so that the only thing that can be done is the panel needs to be sanded flat and repainted. Not something an insurance firm will be doing on a ten year old car.....write off.
So - until the pay out (approx three weeks) and the long last drive to the knackers yard this one handled blue pile of sh*te drove around with 'wanker' in rust on the bonnet and sex pest on the roof.
Do I win a prize?
(Tue 17th Oct 2006, 15:28, More)
(Fri 27th Apr 2007, 10:48, More)
» Road Rage
One Nissan Micra less...
Long story cut short....
Fact: only arseholes/infirm/aged drive Nissan Micras. This has little bearing on anything but I feel better telling you.
A little man decides to pull out of a junction and turn right without noticing I'm travelling on the road he's just turned into. Result: weighed anchor narrowly missing him.
Generally I'm cool with idiots however, he makes that 'cheery wave after looking in his rear view like his just been let out of a junction through me being courteous and just wanting to test my brakes'. Gets to the queue at the light sand I'm at his door giving him my considered opinion.
He decides to lock his door and make rude gestures (brave and stupid - always a fun combo) so I grab his door handle which comes off in my hand. I then throw the broken handle at the window somewhat de-stressed and amused that this pathetic piece of Jap Crap has come apart with minimal effort.
Fast forward three weeks and there's a phone call from PC Plod. The half wit has taken my reg and called the Rozzers. Cue suitably apologetic conversation with an 'old school' copper who suggests I make amends by posting this numb nuts a cheque for the door handle and then he won't have to pay me a visit and fill in forms. I agree and the filth gives me his address!!!! (Data Protection - whats that?)
I dutifully sent off a cheque to the supplied address, waited 'til it cleared thus verifying the pillocks whereabouts and then in the still of the night paid his Micra a visit with iron filings. For those not of a destructive persuasion - sprinkling iron filings onto paintwork in a pattern (or words of your choice) overnight sees them a) become rusty with the condensation / dew / wet and b) eat into the paint / attach itself to the bodywork so that the only thing that can be done is the panel needs to be sanded flat and repainted. Not something an insurance firm will be doing on a ten year old car.....write off.
So - until the pay out (approx three weeks) and the long last drive to the knackers yard this one handled blue pile of sh*te drove around with 'wanker' in rust on the bonnet and sex pest on the roof.
Do I win a prize?
(Tue 17th Oct 2006, 15:28, More)
One Nissan Micra less...
Long story cut short....
Fact: only arseholes/infirm/aged drive Nissan Micras. This has little bearing on anything but I feel better telling you.
A little man decides to pull out of a junction and turn right without noticing I'm travelling on the road he's just turned into. Result: weighed anchor narrowly missing him.
Generally I'm cool with idiots however, he makes that 'cheery wave after looking in his rear view like his just been let out of a junction through me being courteous and just wanting to test my brakes'. Gets to the queue at the light sand I'm at his door giving him my considered opinion.
He decides to lock his door and make rude gestures (brave and stupid - always a fun combo) so I grab his door handle which comes off in my hand. I then throw the broken handle at the window somewhat de-stressed and amused that this pathetic piece of Jap Crap has come apart with minimal effort.
Fast forward three weeks and there's a phone call from PC Plod. The half wit has taken my reg and called the Rozzers. Cue suitably apologetic conversation with an 'old school' copper who suggests I make amends by posting this numb nuts a cheque for the door handle and then he won't have to pay me a visit and fill in forms. I agree and the filth gives me his address!!!! (Data Protection - whats that?)
I dutifully sent off a cheque to the supplied address, waited 'til it cleared thus verifying the pillocks whereabouts and then in the still of the night paid his Micra a visit with iron filings. For those not of a destructive persuasion - sprinkling iron filings onto paintwork in a pattern (or words of your choice) overnight sees them a) become rusty with the condensation / dew / wet and b) eat into the paint / attach itself to the bodywork so that the only thing that can be done is the panel needs to be sanded flat and repainted. Not something an insurance firm will be doing on a ten year old car.....write off.
So - until the pay out (approx three weeks) and the long last drive to the knackers yard this one handled blue pile of sh*te drove around with 'wanker' in rust on the bonnet and sex pest on the roof.
Do I win a prize?
(Tue 17th Oct 2006, 15:28, More)
» Personal Ads
Cherry Tree, Huddersfield
....maybe two years ago
Sat there while a woman I'd lined a date up with interviewed me (really).
Political opinions, religion, music, eating habits, which side of the bed I slept on, good names for children.
If you were in the vicinity and saw a man screaming and running far faster than his build would suggest he could do towards the railway station, it was I.
(Fri 14th Sep 2007, 12:09, More)
Cherry Tree, Huddersfield
....maybe two years ago
Sat there while a woman I'd lined a date up with interviewed me (really).
Political opinions, religion, music, eating habits, which side of the bed I slept on, good names for children.
If you were in the vicinity and saw a man screaming and running far faster than his build would suggest he could do towards the railway station, it was I.
(Fri 14th Sep 2007, 12:09, More)
» Work Experience
George Love
Percival Whiteley Tech (now Calderdale College) Motor Vehicle Dept lecturer.
We'd had the long stand, bucket of steam, bag of sparks for the grinder, 6 ft fallopian tube for the light fitting, 'Jesus' overalls (email for description / instructions) etc. This was 1989 and not yet H&S mad or terribly PC.
Back in the day when you could abuse the apprentice he worked in a wool mill where they dyed the stuff, bailed it etc and throughout the seven floor building had a roof mounted belt driven conveyor for moving the bails etc.
Second week in he's stripped naked except for a belt round his waist which was then attached to one of the hooks on the conveyor. That was his 'factory tour'.....which lasted all day.
He's probably dead now but he was a legend. Don't start him on time save bonus though....
(Thu 10th May 2007, 14:34, More)
George Love
Percival Whiteley Tech (now Calderdale College) Motor Vehicle Dept lecturer.
We'd had the long stand, bucket of steam, bag of sparks for the grinder, 6 ft fallopian tube for the light fitting, 'Jesus' overalls (email for description / instructions) etc. This was 1989 and not yet H&S mad or terribly PC.
Back in the day when you could abuse the apprentice he worked in a wool mill where they dyed the stuff, bailed it etc and throughout the seven floor building had a roof mounted belt driven conveyor for moving the bails etc.
Second week in he's stripped naked except for a belt round his waist which was then attached to one of the hooks on the conveyor. That was his 'factory tour'.....which lasted all day.
He's probably dead now but he was a legend. Don't start him on time save bonus though....
(Thu 10th May 2007, 14:34, More)
» Cross Dressing
At last!
My younger brother is 'artistic'
As you may or may not care my career is in the motor industry - still a pretty masculine kind of environment.
The garage I'm working in at the time has an MOT viewing window at which there is a group of 10 or so mechanics shouting 'there's a bloke in a dress.....a bloke in a dress!'.
And there he sits. Dress on. Made up. Bastard.
That said - it's Rocky Horror in Leeds next week....try stopping me!
(Thu 15th Mar 2007, 15:36, More)
At last!
My younger brother is 'artistic'
As you may or may not care my career is in the motor industry - still a pretty masculine kind of environment.
The garage I'm working in at the time has an MOT viewing window at which there is a group of 10 or so mechanics shouting 'there's a bloke in a dress.....a bloke in a dress!'.
And there he sits. Dress on. Made up. Bastard.
That said - it's Rocky Horror in Leeds next week....try stopping me!
(Thu 15th Mar 2007, 15:36, More)