The bane of my youth

(Mon 6th Sep 2010, 12:31, More)

» The B3TA Detective Agency

Speed of light from tomato soup
A couple of weeks ago, I was heating soup in the microwave. I set it for 20 mins, and wandered off. When I got back the soup had exploded out of the bowl, evenly coated the walls of the microwave, and continued to cook.

So I set to cleaning it. What I noticed was that, now that the soup was static on the walls and not being moved on a turntable, it didn't cook evenly. Some parts were frazzled like flakey paint, and the areas in between were still damp. The areas where the cooking was concentrated were about 2 thumb lengths apart, or 6 cm.

I was looking at the half-wavelength of the microwaves, which would travel at the speed of light. A full oscillation would be 12 cm, or 0.12m. Looking at the safety information of the microwave, it operated at 2450 Mhz. To put it another way, it could pump out 2.45 billion of these 12cm lengths every second.

So a beam would travel 0.12 * 2450000000 meters in a second, which is a speed of 294000000 m/s. The official speed of light is 299792458 m/s. So I was 2% off calculating the speed of light from a bowl of exploding soup. Not bad.

Edit : As has been pointed out, this bit of cleverness has been nullified by leaving the soup on for 20 minutes to begin with.
(Fri 14th Oct 2011, 10:52, More)

» Teenage Crushes - Part Two

Cyber stalking
Through my teenage years from 11- 18 there was just one girl I was besotted by. Others might come and go, but there was always her. Being the nerdy social death magnet that I was, she was always weary of me. After A-Levels we went our separate ways.

So one day last month I spent a lunch hour tracking her down. She had a fairly rare surname which makes it easier. Typing her name into 192.com, I can tell that she spent 4 years at university which means she will be extra qualified. She then spent 3 years in the south east at an address with a man's name on the electoral roll before moving back to her home region. Landlord or boyfriend? Well he left the university at the same time, so I'm guessing boyfriend relationship that didn't work out.

From her LinkedIn profile I can see her original job. The company location matches what 192 says about her being in the SE for 3 years, before moving back here and taking on a more impressive job title. With the extra university qualification I can see that she must be quite well paid now. And she works in IT, after belitting me over it for all those years.

A quick visit to nethouseprices.com, and there is the house shes living in, bought 4 years ago for a decent sum. I even download the title deeds from landregistry.gov.uk and confirm that it is her. I never knew before that she had a middle name. An aerial scan at various online mapping sites reveals a tidy garden and a sensible car which is always a good sign.

Finally I check with facebook. There she is, and her friend list is made up of people from her current company, tieing in with linkedin.com. Whilst I can't see her profile, I can see that of one of her friends. They went on holiday together recently, and there is a pool photo of her that would have wanked myself to a dry husk over in my teenage years.

And happily now I've moved on. Theres no payoff to this story that I'm going to go round there with an axe, or even contact her. After a dismal teenage decade, I'm taking this as a small success that I've got over it.
(Mon 9th Nov 2009, 12:53, More)

» Made me laugh

My lovely wife
My wife has never seen Star Wars. I'm trying to indoctrinate her in the things in life that really matter.

Last weekend we were at a local shopping center. There were some people dressed in Star Wars outfits, trying to sell toys. Trying to put her new knowledge to use, she points to the tall, dark, cloaked figure in the middle and says :

"So, thats Gareth Vader".
(Mon 10th Dec 2012, 13:57, More)

» Sticking it to The Man

I stick Steve Jobs
I work in Focxonn. It is a big factory in China. It is so not good. We work all day. We have no rest and no pay. We make Steve Jobs Ipod for America. I see an open window. I stick Steve Jobs. I go now. Might not return. LOL! ROTFL!
(Tue 22nd Jun 2010, 17:36, More)

» Biggest Sexual Regret

Nietzsche was right all along
I was always pious. And into computers. So I never really got close to a girl until I was 20. This was the now Mrs Chutney. Unfortunately she was a signed up Christian, youth groups, bible study before bed, everything.

She was great otherwise, and we got it together in an enthusiastic couple of weeks. Kissing is great! Who knew? But then she fell into a fit of holy angst when it came to anything physical. Despite a good bit of early groping, I never actually got to see her nipples for a few years. I genuinely loved her and believed anything she told me, and she did indeed believe it herself. I was actually happy with the situation.

Anyway, all this fell away over time. Theres no reason or purpose to life other than to do the best with what you've been given. Plato (I think) figure that out around 400BC. And so we are now happily married.

Its true that the world doesn't owe you a living. But you don't owe it an apology for being born either. I'm now (oddly, hypocritically perhaps) pleased that shes the only partner I've had, and vice versa. But I still wish I'd fucked her good in the first week. And then wiped myself off on the curtains on the way out.
(Fri 9th Dec 2011, 11:01, More)