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Chap, Professional swine wrangler. Soon to move to Alberta, Canada.
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Chap, Professional swine wrangler. Soon to move to Alberta, Canada.
Recent front page messages:
none
Best answers to questions:
» Teenage Crushes - Part Two
Jenny Agutter
in Walkabout.
Wankabout more like.
(Fri 6th Nov 2009, 0:46, More)
Jenny Agutter
in Walkabout.
Wankabout more like.
(Fri 6th Nov 2009, 0:46, More)
» I Drank Meths (pointless teenage things you did to shock)
In detention, again
for being cheeky to the German teacher. She foolishly left me alone. She liked to make herself a cup of coffee during lessons and had a kettle on the bench at the side of the room. Not knowing how long she'd be I quickly set to work on her kettle.Opening the plug I separated a few wires from the live and neutral cores and twisted them together.All that remained to be done was to switch the socket off and the kettle on; my trap was prepared. I put the word around so the incoming class knew the score. Apparently everyone watched with baited breath as she wandered over and clicked the switch. The resulting bang,flash and black smoke were, I'm told, rather good.
(Wed 25th Jul 2007, 6:45, More)
In detention, again
for being cheeky to the German teacher. She foolishly left me alone. She liked to make herself a cup of coffee during lessons and had a kettle on the bench at the side of the room. Not knowing how long she'd be I quickly set to work on her kettle.Opening the plug I separated a few wires from the live and neutral cores and twisted them together.All that remained to be done was to switch the socket off and the kettle on; my trap was prepared. I put the word around so the incoming class knew the score. Apparently everyone watched with baited breath as she wandered over and clicked the switch. The resulting bang,flash and black smoke were, I'm told, rather good.
(Wed 25th Jul 2007, 6:45, More)
» Useless advice
"If you do that you'll go blind"
utter nonsense as told to me by the vague fuzzy shape with a woman's voice.
(Fri 20th Oct 2006, 14:30, More)
"If you do that you'll go blind"
utter nonsense as told to me by the vague fuzzy shape with a woman's voice.
(Fri 20th Oct 2006, 14:30, More)
» Expensive Mistakes
I was given the
seemingly simple task of removing a 40' high feed bin prior to the fitting of the new one. After cutting through 3 of the 4 legs I pulled the bugger with a ferkin great forklift. Nothing happened. I then moved on to plan B; cutting most of the way through the remaining leg and pushing the 5 ton monstrosity very hard. Amazingly the bloody thing fell exactly in the direction I'd planned until at 45 degrees it mysteriously twisted round and deposited itself on the roof of the building.A big crane can cost £1000 per hour and it can take a long time to rectify one eejit's mistakes, I know that now.
(Thu 25th Oct 2007, 16:06, More)
I was given the
seemingly simple task of removing a 40' high feed bin prior to the fitting of the new one. After cutting through 3 of the 4 legs I pulled the bugger with a ferkin great forklift. Nothing happened. I then moved on to plan B; cutting most of the way through the remaining leg and pushing the 5 ton monstrosity very hard. Amazingly the bloody thing fell exactly in the direction I'd planned until at 45 degrees it mysteriously twisted round and deposited itself on the roof of the building.A big crane can cost £1000 per hour and it can take a long time to rectify one eejit's mistakes, I know that now.
(Thu 25th Oct 2007, 16:06, More)
» Expensive Mistakes
Company I worked for
back in the early 90s decided to have a "makeover". This involved a shite mission statement concocted from a Tesco Value book of management-speak and the expense of letting some "experts" come up with a logo. The grand unveiling day arrived and we sat awaiting the reveletion to come. "This new logo represents solidity and strength,values of the company; the colour is warm, yet powerful"...you get the picture anyway. Eventually this wonder was revealed to the assembled throng. A red square with the company initials in white on it. £30,000 for a fucking red square.
(Wed 31st Oct 2007, 17:11, More)
Company I worked for
back in the early 90s decided to have a "makeover". This involved a shite mission statement concocted from a Tesco Value book of management-speak and the expense of letting some "experts" come up with a logo. The grand unveiling day arrived and we sat awaiting the reveletion to come. "This new logo represents solidity and strength,values of the company; the colour is warm, yet powerful"...you get the picture anyway. Eventually this wonder was revealed to the assembled throng. A red square with the company initials in white on it. £30,000 for a fucking red square.
(Wed 31st Oct 2007, 17:11, More)