waa giraffe mindpiss!
just seen that mnb has beaten me to the giraffe theme, and done it better, but i dont care, cos im going bed, and you can moan, and i'll be sleeping happily ;)



Clicky for a biggy!
(Tue 11th Feb 2003, 23:48, More)

» Sacked

The day after my company christmas party in some fancy pants Cambridge restaurant...
I woke up and wondered into work my brain still spinning from the effort of drinking company sponsored booze. 3 g+t's, 2 litres of leffe, a bottle of red, and then i don't remember much more.
I wondered in, was asked upstairs, given my P45 and escorted out. I still have absolutely no idea why I was fired. Most irritating...
(Thu 23rd Feb 2006, 14:40, More)

» Things you've done when you've had no money.

Not humorous or anything.
But I ran out of money when travelling on the Albanian coast and ended up spending 5 days hitch-hiking back to Cambridge, including spending a night with 3 gorgeous Montenegran girls, a young sex crazed Polish girl and an all night drinking session in Germany with 2 Irish guys to avoid paying for a room. Nice ;)
(Fri 8th Oct 2004, 12:30, More)

» My Worst Vomit

2nd entry, hurrah.
After the last London bash, very entertaining, lots of beers consumed, I pulled a very nice London based aussie girl who I managed to persuade to come home with me. Oh yeah, I live in Cambridge by the way.

We'd been snogging each other senseless, so it wasn't too difficult. The only problem was, that at 11pm I was hammered. Utterly utterly fucked. Holding an bash on a boat where I'm both drunk and seasick simultaniously is a *bad idea* folks.

So we're there going for it on the train (nothing too risque just yet!!!), and I need to go to the toilet.

So off I go to the train toilet.

An hour later I'm woken up by the train engineer in Cambridge sidings who had had to break into the toilet, vomit everywhere, me completely dazed and confused, young lady nowhere to be seen.

What the hell happened?

After he gave me the bollocking of my life I phoned the lass and she's checked into the 30 quid hotel and told she had to be out by 6am (this is at 2am, boycott Sleeperz, Cambridge!) so I ended up giving the mad Indian guy on the counter major grief and he refunded half the money (although I didn't know it was at the time), and took the lady home.

I still got lucky that night. Go me.
(Mon 23rd Aug 2004, 17:58, More)

» My Worst Vomit

When I was travelling
I met an American guy named Adam in Belarus who owned a Dacha - basically a delapadated Russian summerhouse in a farm.

Now, we decided to spend a day chatting and working on the farm nd ended up very happy with ourselves for such 'down-to-earth'ness. We decided that to celebrate, we should drink a few shots of vodka.

Now, I'm not that practiced in Russian style vodka drinking which seems to consist of downing MUGS of vodka one after the other, then licking a garlic freshly dug up and chewing on some pickled cabbage so I had some trouble keeping up.

Adam however was downing for American/Belarussian relations and after 3 litre bottles was decidedly unwell.

He ran off to the toilet - which is essentially a tiny wooden shack (not unlike the toilets in 'wild west' films), with a seat being a hole cut out of a plank of wood, and a 6 foot deep hole dug out underneath this.

He his head over the hole and threw up a lot.

Did I mention that he wore glasses?
No?

Well, they followed his vomit into the hole by accident and unfortunately for Belarus, glasses are extortionately expensive, like 3 months salary for a pair.

So he pushed the shack over, and lay down on the ground with his arm down the hole.

He was not most popular after that, but I did get to laugh my head off.
(Mon 23rd Aug 2004, 17:52, More)

» My Worst Vomit

Last one.
At a party in the lovely town of Horsham about 4-5 years back now it was a bring your own bottle.
For reasons that currently escape me I was not into beer or anything at that time, so bought two bottles of cheap wine - one white, one red.

The party was a complete success, somehow an entire bus of spanish girls turned up and I became very drunk.

Very drunk.

In fact the whole bottle of white went down like a treat, then the red. Then, I went through someone elses bottle of red wine, then a bit of someones on top of that.

OK, I was going to be sick, I really couldn't wait, dashed out the front door, sad on the step, head between legs, chundered like a good one.

Walking back inside I noticed that I'd vomited a bit on my t-shirt. A big red stain.

I was throwing up blood.

I panicked.
I went crazy.

A very nice guy called bob came over and slapped me to be calm - to give him his due it worked. I was throwing up blood. Look at the giant stain on my t-shirt.

Calm down, he said. Have you eaten anything with tomato ketchup in? No, I replyed.

Have you had any red wine?
Yes, I said, two and a half bottles.

You prick! He told me, told me to go to the toilet, clean yourself up, and stop being a baby.

I felt like such an complete idiot. He did however invite me to his birthday party in London the next day, so I must have made some sort of impression...
(Mon 23rd Aug 2004, 18:19, More)