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» I Drank Meths (pointless teenage things you did to shock)

The Second Coming
I always looked older than my age, and at 18 I had long hair and a beard. The summer I turned 18, a couple of friends and I had an evil plan, since we all agreed that religion was piffle.

We went to the local beach on Long Island and found a sandbar that was quite far away from the main bathing area. One afternoon, when the tide had risen a bit above the sandbar, I dressed up in just enough robes to look Christ-like and took a stroll along the sandbar for a few minutes.

The Jesus sightings made the papers and the local sermons that week.
(Sat 21st Jul 2007, 13:07, More)

» Evil Pranks

Late night music
In university, I woke up out of a sound sleep to find my roommate in bed with someone. Our beds were less than three meters apart. I tried to ignore them, and told him in the morning to warn me next time.

Next week, same thing happens. This time, I lay there and watch. Although it's dark, the roomie sees me, the girl doesn't, and the next morning, I tell him don't do this anymore. "Yeah, yeah, whatever," he says. "Okay, just don't say I didn't warn you," I said.

Three days later, I wake up to hear him going at it again. I very slowly move my hand and turn on the stereo system and "Ride of the Valkyries" comes booming out of the speakers at 2am. She gets up, screams, tears the sheet off the bed and races out of the room. He starts chasing her, all the time yelling about how he's going to kill me.

He got the message, though, and told me he was going to warn me if he brought anyone home.
(Sat 15th Dec 2007, 5:37, More)

» I Drank Meths (pointless teenage things you did to shock)

Dunno if this is rebellion or stupidity
There was a boy at our school named K.C. who was bright, but a bit off. One day in English class in high school, he interrupted a lesson with the question, "If I jump out this window, will I get hurt?" (We were on the floor above the ground floor.) The teacher, who was tired of his questions all semester, looked at him and said, "Why don't you do it and find out?"

He landed just outside the principal's office. The teacher was suspended for a couple of weeks.
(Sat 21st Jul 2007, 13:12, More)

» Council Cunts

Not Council, but Bureaucracy Nevertheless.
I'm American, but I've lived in Korea for many years. Once I lost a job and under Immigration rules, you have to leave the country to get a new visa, so I went back to New York to see the parents and to get a new visa. The (Korean) missus wasn't happy about it, but those are the rules.

When I went to the Korean consulate in New York, I filled out the visa application and went to the window. The woman behind the thick bulletproof glass pointed at the blank that said "Type of visa" and mentioned that I hadn't filled it in.

"Yeah, I know," I said. I have to ask you about that. I'm married to a Korean. My wife and I bought an apartment in Seoul. What sort of visa do I need?"

She asked, "Do you have a job in Korea?"

"No," I answered, "I am going to look for one when I arrive."

"Oh," she said quickly, "Then you're a tourist."

"Lady, did you hear me? I am married to one of your citizens. I own property in your country. What visa do I need?"

She stared at me for a moment, and then asked again, "Do you have a job in Korea?"

"No."

"Then you're a tourist."

This went on for five more minutes with me explaining how asinine this was (in English and Korean), but she wouldn't budge, simply because I didn't have a job in Korea.
Marriage and owning property weren't enough.

When we finished, I understood why she was behind bulletproof glass, and in the end, I had to get a tourist visa to go home.
(Thu 26th Jul 2007, 17:18, More)

» Political Correctness Gone Mad

blacks and Blacks
At the University of Michigan in the late 1980s when I went to university, the black student association (I've forgotten the exact name) demanded that the school newspaper capitalize the word "black" when referring to black people. They insisted that the word "white" could not be capitalized in the same way since "whites were a bunch of mongrels".

Slaves to the (then) new PC movement, the newspaper start capitalizing the word 'black'. In victory, black students went around wearing shirts that read "It's a Black thing, you wouldn't understand."
(Sun 25th Nov 2007, 11:20, More)
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