» Personal Hygiene

Watching CSI last night
We watched Gil sniff his wrist. My missus passed me her wrist, in what I thought was an amusing homage to the fat freak on the box. She delivered a stunning stink palm. Bastard had had her hand down her arse crack for ages.
(Fri 23rd Mar 2007, 9:13, More)

» The worst sex I ever had

My ex
Loved biscuits.

So during sex, just as I was about to splurge - I screamed out "Custard Creams!".

Although I was proud of my focus during the little death, I was dumped shortly after...
(Sat 16th Jun 2007, 9:34, More)

» When were you last really scared?

I must have been about nine
Must have been. And somehow I'd ended up inside my duvet. AND COULDN'T GET OUT. Shit? I nearly made my paisley jimmies go a more seventies shade of brown.
(Thu 22nd Feb 2007, 20:41, More)

» Voyeurism

Luvverly
I've just watched my two year old curl out the most amazing four-and-a-half-inch cable in his potty. He even managed to get a Mr Whippy effect flick at the end for artistic measure.

Surprisingly I don't feel soiled or dirty having witnessed this birth, but a certain sense of vicarious pride in his achievement. I can't wait for him to bring schoolgirls home with him!
(Sun 14th Oct 2007, 18:29, More)

» Strict Parents

I just couldn't believe
My mum got so upset about me wanking on the stairs.
(Thu 8th Mar 2007, 21:34, More)