» Why I was late

not as elaborate as some
but i find it has a timeless quality and guarantees you a day off, especially if you work for a male boss
one morning driving along the M5 to work, listening to kerrang, i decided to enter the competition to see supergrass live at the studio
amazingly not only did i get through, i won, Whoop
one drawback, the gig was the next afternoon, a Wednesday! bum thought i
as i hated my job and had run out of skiving excuses
until i remembered the timeless classic i hadn't yet used, a smear test! they cant deny you, and most blokes, as soon as you mention it, turn puce and dont ask questions! sweet
i went to the gig, it was only okay
although i must have had about 10 smear tests that year, thick cnuts
(Thu 28th Jun 2007, 18:42, More)

» Other people's diaries

just remembered
not a diary, but i used to live in london, and once when in brum visiting the family, i crashed in my younger brothers room, he stayed at his girlfriends.
being the nosy bitch that i am, i spotted a jar next to his bed with little folded bits of paper in
i of course looked, and to my horror, found a little game that my little bro had been playing with missus
Example:
Tickle peter
Suck peter(yes his parts were called peter *shudder*)
as they got more graphic i had to stop as i was getting very wrong images!

length? fuck it im drunk
(Thu 1st Feb 2007, 23:25, More)

» The Dirty Secrets of Your Trade

wine
I also worked at sainsbury's part time, many moons ago, on the booze isle.
boxes of wine £17 or more could not be sold if the boxes were damaged.
but the interior can be sold to staff for like £3-£5. so we used to damage the boxes out bk, and bugger off with loads of expensive wine at the end of the night.
quite boring really, sorry
(Sat 29th Sep 2007, 20:50, More)

» The Dirty Secrets of Your Trade

dentistry
Having been in dentistry for 8 years now I have noticed a few little things that dentists will do (me NOT included!)
there is the obvious mark up on lab work, we pay £150 to the lab for a private crown, and charge the patient £450 and above.
I will say though be very wary when going to your NHS dentist, if they say you need a fissure seal on the buccal surface of a tooth (cheek side) its more often than not, not needed, but they get a sweet 3 UDA points (new g'ment pay structure) for about 5 seconds worth of work!
I would like to add though that not all dentists are crooks, and i would say that most surgeries have clean instruments!!
(Fri 28th Sep 2007, 17:37, More)

» I Drank Meths (pointless teenage things you did to shock)

very very young at the time
my little bro and I decided to make a little "theme park" for our Russian hamsters, bubble and squeak, this consisted of a record player merry go round, a hoover pipe tube slide, and a maze of books.
All was going well and the little hammies seemed to be having a good time, so we decided to put the record player onto the higher speed.

me and my bro were in hysterics watching them spin, until one flew off at high speed, straight into a wall.
rather dazed we put them back in the cage and decided to plead ignorance,
thankfully the little mite survived.

he also later survived getting stuck in the hoover pipe and being poked out with a stick,
and hamster sphering, well being sent down the stairs in his little ball.
(Wed 25th Jul 2007, 19:45, More)