Profile for Dellamorte Dellamore:
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- a member for 17 years, 3 months and 0 days
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- has posted 28 stories and 15 replies on question of the week
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» The Credit Crunch
Fuck, I haven't posted for ages.
In fact it's so fuckin' long I'm back in fuckin' Blighty after spending seven and a half years in Japan.
Personally, I'm not affected by the credit crunch and hopefully won't be but for all you cunts putting down others on here about 'I'm alright Jack, everyone one else can sink, 'cause I don't give a fuck' can FUCK RIGHT ORFF. I appreciate people have borrowed on the never never and borrowing, whether morgage or loan, is a common sense decision that you should make within your means. But if someone has been shafted by being made redundant don't feel so fucking smug about it you fuckin' cunts. Jesus wept (well, he did when he was nailed to the cross)there might be saturation credit crunch here, credit crunch there, credit crunch everywhere but there are peoples lives going down the shitter and a bit of courtesy wouldn't go amiss you heartless cunts.
Rant finished. Fuck, all I ever do is rant these days.
Ahh, happiness and bliss.
(Thu 22nd Jan 2009, 21:55, More)
Fuck, I haven't posted for ages.
In fact it's so fuckin' long I'm back in fuckin' Blighty after spending seven and a half years in Japan.
Personally, I'm not affected by the credit crunch and hopefully won't be but for all you cunts putting down others on here about 'I'm alright Jack, everyone one else can sink, 'cause I don't give a fuck' can FUCK RIGHT ORFF. I appreciate people have borrowed on the never never and borrowing, whether morgage or loan, is a common sense decision that you should make within your means. But if someone has been shafted by being made redundant don't feel so fucking smug about it you fuckin' cunts. Jesus wept (well, he did when he was nailed to the cross)there might be saturation credit crunch here, credit crunch there, credit crunch everywhere but there are peoples lives going down the shitter and a bit of courtesy wouldn't go amiss you heartless cunts.
Rant finished. Fuck, all I ever do is rant these days.
Ahh, happiness and bliss.
(Thu 22nd Jan 2009, 21:55, More)
» Conspiracy theory nutters
Arse
I didn't wipe my arse properly this morning. I fear the Bottom Inspectors will soon be visiting. Oh dear.
(Fri 28th Aug 2009, 23:07, More)
Arse
I didn't wipe my arse properly this morning. I fear the Bottom Inspectors will soon be visiting. Oh dear.
(Fri 28th Aug 2009, 23:07, More)
» Evil Pranks
Tip-top
As a kid a rather delightful trick was to i)fill a thin, plastic tip-top drinks carton with fresh dog shit ii)stick a banger in the top iii) light banger iv) throw sufficiently far, preferably over the heads of mate or group of mates v) roll around laughing as shit spattered mates look daggers at you.
It happened to me once but you gotta be able to take shit as well as deal shit :) (it gets fuckin' everywhere hee hee hee)
My other favourite was when I worked in a bottling plant. Some of the drinks bottles had the silver or gold wrappings around their neck. The foil comes from a nice smooth roll and its colours are a spit for gold and silver coins. Sometimes, on nightshift, a mate of mine use to take a piece of foil and make a perfect replica of coins, with great care and patience, wrapping the coin in the foil making imprints of one face and the sides of the coin and then , without creating any creases, tuck the remnants of foil underneath. It was quite an art. Then they would be placed strategically on the floor, catching the light and you'd wait for the unsuspecting victim to come walking past. They would be walking in factory automaton mode when they would spy some dropped change in a couple of pound coins, a fifty and a couple of twenties and their automaton face would register human emotion as their eyes lit up, burning off their glaze, sometimes with a quick look around, then they would stoop to pick the money up, only to have it fold and crumple under their touch which was, by now, reflected in their eyes as their face fell.
It was beautiful.
They would swear and curse, with liberal dashes of colour, at me and my mates sniggering but they couldn't help but admire the effort and genius of the prank.
Mmmm..... I don't feel complete, all to polite..... fuck, fuck, fuckety fuck.
(Wed 19th Dec 2007, 7:35, More)
Tip-top
As a kid a rather delightful trick was to i)fill a thin, plastic tip-top drinks carton with fresh dog shit ii)stick a banger in the top iii) light banger iv) throw sufficiently far, preferably over the heads of mate or group of mates v) roll around laughing as shit spattered mates look daggers at you.
It happened to me once but you gotta be able to take shit as well as deal shit :) (it gets fuckin' everywhere hee hee hee)
My other favourite was when I worked in a bottling plant. Some of the drinks bottles had the silver or gold wrappings around their neck. The foil comes from a nice smooth roll and its colours are a spit for gold and silver coins. Sometimes, on nightshift, a mate of mine use to take a piece of foil and make a perfect replica of coins, with great care and patience, wrapping the coin in the foil making imprints of one face and the sides of the coin and then , without creating any creases, tuck the remnants of foil underneath. It was quite an art. Then they would be placed strategically on the floor, catching the light and you'd wait for the unsuspecting victim to come walking past. They would be walking in factory automaton mode when they would spy some dropped change in a couple of pound coins, a fifty and a couple of twenties and their automaton face would register human emotion as their eyes lit up, burning off their glaze, sometimes with a quick look around, then they would stoop to pick the money up, only to have it fold and crumple under their touch which was, by now, reflected in their eyes as their face fell.
It was beautiful.
They would swear and curse, with liberal dashes of colour, at me and my mates sniggering but they couldn't help but admire the effort and genius of the prank.
Mmmm..... I don't feel complete, all to polite..... fuck, fuck, fuckety fuck.
(Wed 19th Dec 2007, 7:35, More)
» Best Graffiti Ever
Not particularly brilliant...
but made me laugh as a young lad. Was taking a dump in an M4 service station in the days when shit role in such establishments resembled greaseproof paper. On the back of the door was written "This toilet paper is like John Wayne, ROUGH, TOUGH an TAKES NO SHIT."
So true.
(Sat 5th May 2007, 10:55, More)
Not particularly brilliant...
but made me laugh as a young lad. Was taking a dump in an M4 service station in the days when shit role in such establishments resembled greaseproof paper. On the back of the door was written "This toilet paper is like John Wayne, ROUGH, TOUGH an TAKES NO SHIT."
So true.
(Sat 5th May 2007, 10:55, More)
» Nightclubs
Nothing funny
I lived in Sheffield for 8 years in the nineties and, although this is obviously a rose tinted memory, used to love going to the Headcharge night at the Arches. Everyone wore what the fuck they wanted to, took what the fuck they wanted to and everyone was chilled out, E'd up and there for the tunes. I never once witnessed any trouble or saw any sexual tension. Everyone seemed to be there for the tunes and danced the night away in blissful peace.
On the other extreme I once went to a karate competition, near Exeter, camped there for a week, during Easter, and went to a proper townie club. It was all shirts and chinos with the blokes, and as much as I was apprehensive going in there (I've always hated these fuckin' places but was there to placate a mate) I was amazed that all these townies were dead friendly and I never once felt bad vibes ( I had long hair and was wering denims and leather). I'll never forget that. Townies don't necessarily mean a bunch of aggro cunts, there are exceptions to the rule and Exeter c.1998 was one of them.
No funnies, just thought I'd share- ya lucky fucks.
(Sat 11th Apr 2009, 23:14, More)
Nothing funny
I lived in Sheffield for 8 years in the nineties and, although this is obviously a rose tinted memory, used to love going to the Headcharge night at the Arches. Everyone wore what the fuck they wanted to, took what the fuck they wanted to and everyone was chilled out, E'd up and there for the tunes. I never once witnessed any trouble or saw any sexual tension. Everyone seemed to be there for the tunes and danced the night away in blissful peace.
On the other extreme I once went to a karate competition, near Exeter, camped there for a week, during Easter, and went to a proper townie club. It was all shirts and chinos with the blokes, and as much as I was apprehensive going in there (I've always hated these fuckin' places but was there to placate a mate) I was amazed that all these townies were dead friendly and I never once felt bad vibes ( I had long hair and was wering denims and leather). I'll never forget that. Townies don't necessarily mean a bunch of aggro cunts, there are exceptions to the rule and Exeter c.1998 was one of them.
No funnies, just thought I'd share- ya lucky fucks.
(Sat 11th Apr 2009, 23:14, More)