» Insults

On the pull
I have to admit to asking "do you fancy me love ?" when seeing a lass at a drinking establishment and if the answer is no saying "strange the ugly ones usually do ".
(Fri 5th Oct 2007, 14:25, More)

» Insults

In response to pooflake
My sister on meeting one of my girlfriends firstime called her to her face a cracadillymunterpig (my sister was 21) strangely enough I became single at high speed
(Fri 5th Oct 2007, 8:46, More)

» Dumb things you've done

zippo + alcohol + lighter fluid + idiot = danger
Said idiot was me at about 13 rather drunk (early starter) filling my zippo lighter with fluid in a tiled floor pantry (wearing only socks on my feet). As I was somewhat battered I ended up overfilling the lighter and dumping lighter fluid on the floor. What is the first thing you do after filling a lighter? test it, I didn't realise that I had apparently also got fluid over my hands, cue a fireball. Standing on a lighter fluid soaked floor with hands ablaze the smartest move would not have been to drop the lighter whilst still ablaze which is what of course I did. As I am standing in the pantry feet and hands burning with no bloody clue what to do the thought of the downstairs bathroom hits me so I decide to run through the shag carpeted lounge and hall of our house leaving little flamed footprints for the first couple of steps to the bathroom. WIth no other source of water I put my feet out in the toilet and my hands are by now out but cooling water is required. The result burnt hands and feet, some very funny singe patches to the carpet and a complete (deserved) thrashing whan my dad got home.

Legnth about 14 years later and my dad still thinks I am a disater zone
(Fri 21st Dec 2007, 11:21, More)

» Insults

On foreign insults
Some insults from sunny Gibraltar (I cannot spell in spanish sorry)

Me cago en tus putas muertos y lo disfusta - I shit on you prostitute dead and enjoy it.

Me cago on diez : corrupted from I shit on god (dios) to I shit on ten

Mal ala leche : your mothers breast milk was bad

me cago en tus leche : I shit in your mothers breast milk

You have to appreciate the beauty of latin languages
(Tue 9th Oct 2007, 15:07, More)

» Insults

In reference to ugly women
Olympic spade catcher - A woman that catches spades with her face at an olympic level.

As ugly as Andrew Lloyd Webber licking piss off a thistle.

She was beaten with a baseball bat made from the ugly tree
(Mon 8th Oct 2007, 13:57, More)