Profile for Jack Bravado:
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- a member for 16 years, 11 months and 22 days
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- has posted 7 stories and 1 replies on question of the week
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» Cheap Tat
Tesco Value Beer...
We used to throw parties that the usual suspects would bring no booze too... so we had a plan, buy 24 cans of value Tesco lager (think it was 2% but it tasted real bad...) and the deal was,
"No real booze for you till the value stuff is gone if you didnt bring any booze!"
Its amazing how really cheap rubbish lager can give some people such bad hangovers!
Needless to say after a couple more parties like this everyone brought real drink along!
(Fri 4th Jan 2008, 14:25, More)
Tesco Value Beer...
We used to throw parties that the usual suspects would bring no booze too... so we had a plan, buy 24 cans of value Tesco lager (think it was 2% but it tasted real bad...) and the deal was,
"No real booze for you till the value stuff is gone if you didnt bring any booze!"
Its amazing how really cheap rubbish lager can give some people such bad hangovers!
Needless to say after a couple more parties like this everyone brought real drink along!
(Fri 4th Jan 2008, 14:25, More)
» The Dirty Secrets of Your Trade
The LAN, or Matalan if anyone knows it...
Worked there for too many years while going through uni and got to quite a trusted position...
Did find myself outside slicing up hundreds of pounds worth of stock, that fair enough we couldn't shift for a golden nugget, but when I enquired to why we don't just shift it to a charity shop or a clothes recycling place (Hell Ill drive it there!) I got the response "But we don't make anything doing that", what a load of rubbish...
They would rather see it in a skip, unwearable (sliced to ribbons) than helping someone...
"But think of the publicity" I say... response "get cutting!"
Really was a rubbish company to work for...
(Tue 2nd Oct 2007, 21:22, More)
The LAN, or Matalan if anyone knows it...
Worked there for too many years while going through uni and got to quite a trusted position...
Did find myself outside slicing up hundreds of pounds worth of stock, that fair enough we couldn't shift for a golden nugget, but when I enquired to why we don't just shift it to a charity shop or a clothes recycling place (Hell Ill drive it there!) I got the response "But we don't make anything doing that", what a load of rubbish...
They would rather see it in a skip, unwearable (sliced to ribbons) than helping someone...
"But think of the publicity" I say... response "get cutting!"
Really was a rubbish company to work for...
(Tue 2nd Oct 2007, 21:22, More)
» Phobias
Balloon's... and crayons...
A good freind of mine is terrified of blown up balloons... so we decided to fill his room with balloons whilst others get him drunk, he passes out, place him in room... cue him waking up in a room full of balloons... I must confess I did feel quite bad as he did have a bit of a breakdown, ahh well!
And me I hate, nae am scared of crayons... and I have no idea why...
(Thu 10th Apr 2008, 20:14, More)
Balloon's... and crayons...
A good freind of mine is terrified of blown up balloons... so we decided to fill his room with balloons whilst others get him drunk, he passes out, place him in room... cue him waking up in a room full of balloons... I must confess I did feel quite bad as he did have a bit of a breakdown, ahh well!
And me I hate, nae am scared of crayons... and I have no idea why...
(Thu 10th Apr 2008, 20:14, More)
» Stalked
Yes! Yes I have!
I apologise for length now...
When I was 15 I met a girl at a under 18s club who to cut a long story was mental! As each week went by we got together, Valentines happened... she got me an amusing "Sex Machine" card... then i kind of went off her (due to being a nutter!) She began writing letters she would present to me most weekends, to be honest I was scared...
Eventually one lunchtime at school mates arrived back to tell me that the girl in question is sitting outside my house...
"She can't be, she lives 2 towns over..." I was wrong. I got home at half 3 to find her there, just sitting! So I enquire what she's doing there and she comes up with this:
"My school has a drama department which has stopped as a hugh mirror went through the stage, so Im sent to your school to do drama" Now this would make sense if we HAD a drama department, alarm bells were ringing.
I saw her on a bus thinking that was it, oh no weeks of her sitting there carried on, missing school just to stalk me!
Then it all went horribly wrong, one Saturday I got a call from another nutter who claimed I was leading her on, not true I was on a daily basis trying to get her away! I don't remember the specifics but at one point he threatened to "cut my ears off and feed them to my mother" I hung up at barely a minute later she was at my back door, this was all premeditated! I sent her on her way, cue weeks of dogs abuse off me mates who claim I should have "got in about her"
Nearly there...
Monday lunchtime comes, there she is, after school there shes still there and I decide enough is enough. I tell her in no uncertain terms it not going to happen and to stop all this nonsense and then it happens...
She puts her hand out to flag down a bus, steps out, bus ain't saw her... and she walks into a moving bus! On the deck she is, gets up, gets on bus, never see her again! it all happened in a flash, but to this day I can still see it if I close my eyes...
(Thu 31st Jan 2008, 17:36, More)
Yes! Yes I have!
I apologise for length now...
When I was 15 I met a girl at a under 18s club who to cut a long story was mental! As each week went by we got together, Valentines happened... she got me an amusing "Sex Machine" card... then i kind of went off her (due to being a nutter!) She began writing letters she would present to me most weekends, to be honest I was scared...
Eventually one lunchtime at school mates arrived back to tell me that the girl in question is sitting outside my house...
"She can't be, she lives 2 towns over..." I was wrong. I got home at half 3 to find her there, just sitting! So I enquire what she's doing there and she comes up with this:
"My school has a drama department which has stopped as a hugh mirror went through the stage, so Im sent to your school to do drama" Now this would make sense if we HAD a drama department, alarm bells were ringing.
I saw her on a bus thinking that was it, oh no weeks of her sitting there carried on, missing school just to stalk me!
Then it all went horribly wrong, one Saturday I got a call from another nutter who claimed I was leading her on, not true I was on a daily basis trying to get her away! I don't remember the specifics but at one point he threatened to "cut my ears off and feed them to my mother" I hung up at barely a minute later she was at my back door, this was all premeditated! I sent her on her way, cue weeks of dogs abuse off me mates who claim I should have "got in about her"
Nearly there...
Monday lunchtime comes, there she is, after school there shes still there and I decide enough is enough. I tell her in no uncertain terms it not going to happen and to stop all this nonsense and then it happens...
She puts her hand out to flag down a bus, steps out, bus ain't saw her... and she walks into a moving bus! On the deck she is, gets up, gets on bus, never see her again! it all happened in a flash, but to this day I can still see it if I close my eyes...
(Thu 31st Jan 2008, 17:36, More)
» Shoplifting
An Eagle...
Round about 17 or so at our local at the time, myself and associates lifted a wooden eagle... was going to be a bugger to get a 2 foot wingspanned eagle out the door. Until we realised the wings came off!
Still have it, one day it will make it's way on to my fireplace. Oh and I always thought it was kinda cool it was stamped "Made in U.S.S.R." on the base...
(Wed 16th Jan 2008, 21:19, More)
An Eagle...
Round about 17 or so at our local at the time, myself and associates lifted a wooden eagle... was going to be a bugger to get a 2 foot wingspanned eagle out the door. Until we realised the wings came off!
Still have it, one day it will make it's way on to my fireplace. Oh and I always thought it was kinda cool it was stamped "Made in U.S.S.R." on the base...
(Wed 16th Jan 2008, 21:19, More)