» "You're doing it wrong"

Mistaken identity...
I've been with my boyfriend for ten years, and I always wondered why his mother - Wendy - didn't like me very much.

Last year, he finally got round to telling me that her name is Liz.
(Sun 18th Jul 2010, 13:13, More)

» Insults

When you really want to insult someone....
and give everyone around you a giggle, just ask the loud-mouthed cockmaster over in the corner:

"Do you suck your mother's cock with that mouth?"

This insult has everything... your mum, her questionable sexuality, incest. What more could you want?
(Fri 5th Oct 2007, 13:24, More)

» * PFFT *

Awoken by a stench...
I used to go out with a bloke who had a bum-smell so terrible, that I would routinely be woken up in the night by the smell of his guffs. It was rotten beyond belief, but he must have been a great guy coz I was with him for ages even after that!

Also once, the same said bloke once set light to one of my farts...it was quite a big one, and only came out slowly. Luckily, I was wearing thick cords, because the flame was huge and lingered around my bum so long I singed the bloody things!
(Tue 17th Jul 2007, 19:24, More)