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Profile for HNGTHDJ:
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» The worst sex I ever had

Sandwich
Not me, but an old flatmate...

Basically he's upstairs having sex with his girlfriend when mid-shag he decides that he needs the toilet. So he heads downstairs and goes to the toilet. The stops to have a chat with our other flatmate, Chris. Then makes a cheese sandwich. A grilled cheese sandwich. Eats that, watches a bit of 24 with Chris, then heads off upstairs to finish his missus off. Talk about intermission...

The worst sex I've ever had? A girl that shouted "Hallelujah!" when she climaxed...very disturbing. Messiah-tastic!
(Fri 15th Jun 2007, 15:26, More)

» Why should you be fired from your job?

Milky cocks
I work for a large, pseudo-Italian coffee shop chain that shall remain nameless (it might rhyme with "Foster"...). I do very little work even at the best of times, and find that much of the work I do actually do is criticized anyway for not meeting whichever senseless new rule they've bought in that week. For example, they have banned 'latte art' on their coffees. Latte art basically entails drawing shapes on top of the drinks using the frothed milk, common ones being hearts, apples and even ferns. However, in my own special way, I have been doing my best to fight against this bureaucratic rule-mongering and tarnish the image they work so maintain. How you ask? By drawing big milky cocks on top of people's drinks of course! I then sprinkle on a touch of chocolate powder to add 'pubes' and then you have the perfect 'cockaccino'. Somehow, I haven't been caught yet. Perhaps because most people are too polite to complain? Or maybe people just see the funny side of it?
(Tue 14th Aug 2007, 17:57, More)

» Top Tips

Fuck ugly?
Bad luck.
(Tue 14th Aug 2007, 18:00, More)

» Crazy Relatives

Good question
My dad's mum once opened a paper street map while we were visiting Durham and exclaimed "There's no 'you-are-here!".

My mum's mum leaves her purse in the oven.

Not too crazy, but we love 'em. Just.
(Mon 9th Jul 2007, 23:58, More)

» And that's the thanks I got

I'm emo
And that's all the angst I get.
(Wed 30th May 2007, 23:42, More)
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