» Stuff I've found

L4dy b0y pr0n
Still makes me sick to this day. When my Dad gave me his old laptop I did what any over inquisitive little snot would do:
1. Restore recycle bin, and
2. Used media player to search for any and every media file that ever was.

I won't beat around the bush (no sniggers please), I was starting to get into some really good porn of a solo girl playing with her tits and moaning and stuff. Plenty of close ups on the face and tits, but not much below, I assumed she wasn't getting paid much and refused to have her snatch on the internet. Well, suddenly, it was shown. Sort of. When she (now arguable) started wanking off her 7 inch cock.

I was only 15 and felt so dirty at the fact I'd just watched some girl (urgh!) wanking off HER penis. What do I do? What any impatient/offline fapping 15 year old would; rewind to the bit with his tits and finish off.

First time I've mentioned this to anyone, should I be ashamed?!
(Tue 11th Nov 2008, 14:37, More)

» Terrible food

Mmm, twix.
Not me, but someone else (of course).

A few years back, we had a strange cantonese girl in our school boarding house whom, for the sake of humiliation, I shall call Utonia (mainly because that was her name).

She was in my Maths class all year, never spoke a word, just sort of silently answered questions and got everything right. No one really noticed her to be fair, until that dreaded, chocolatey night..

I had heard from other boarders that in the morning, they were given a choice of snack. Say, a twix. But Utonia wasn't hungry. She was saving it for later. Much later. But not to eat.

It isn't known if she had actually innocently mistook it to be a dildo or not, but she couldn't tell the difference. It was enough to make her wake up the other 5 girls who were sharing the dorm with her, enough for them to know exactly what she was doing. The other girls sat horrified, didn't dare say a word. Minutes passed, Utonia popped her head from under the duvet. All that work makes up an appetite eh? Wrapper comes off, munch munch munch.

Needless to say, she left a few weeks later. Shortly after the morning snack was changed to Curly wurly.





Length? She couldn't take much more, apparently.

*Post cherry popped*
(Tue 22nd May 2007, 15:21, More)

» The nicest thing someone's ever done for me

When I was about
16, I worked in a small corner shop, one of the 'Happy Shopper' chains, one day a 20something year old came in and bought an obscene amount of beer and wine, and asked me if I could help carry it to his car. I did, of course. After dumping it into the back, he turned round and gave me £3! "Imagine it as me buying you a pint to say cheers, which I would do, apart from we're in a car park and you're underage" said the kind sir.

To think of it he could probably have worded the sentence better, but it totally made my day :) Was the most unexpected fluffyness I think I've encountered to date.

Aww it's made me all happy just thinking about it. The world is fluffy again :)
(Fri 3rd Oct 2008, 0:07, More)

» Accidental innuendo

A sweet sweet friend.
Bless her, she doesn't know what she says. I was walking a few paces in front of her and she decides to hit me in the bum with her knee.

"And what do you think you're doing eh?"
She pipes up: "I kneed you in the arse!"

Bless.
(Thu 12th Jun 2008, 21:15, More)

» Eccentrics

CGL
For me it has to be the Crazy Ginger Lady of Harpenden. Bloody hell. What an oddity she is, with the power of teleportation.

She's known for being quite.. Well, fucking scary and odd. She must be in her late 50s/early 60s, messy ginger hair, typical old people clothes and really, really, thick baggy skin colour tights .

Observe:

She hangs around inside Sainsburies talking to people about their shopping, telling them which items she likes/hates/would like some of. In a local pub with my family lately we saw her on her hands and knees searching the floor. She saw us looking so stands up and says, "I overheard someone in church saying they dropped 5pence here.. I thought it would be nice to pop it in the charity pot."

Bless? NO.

She's known for going to funerals of people she doesn't know and speaking to people as if she's a dear old friend. "Ooh, how did you know him? Did you know him for long?" My other half's brother sings in the choir at many services, he witnessed her, after the ceremony, get in her car and follow everyone back to the house of the.. Erm, buffet.. Afterparty thing. They had to call the police to remove her.

Oh, and if you're wondering about her teleportation. As I was deciding what pizza to have with my friend, she came up and started asking what I was doing. Erm, reading the menu. So she began to tell me what she was doing that night, and why it couldn't possibly fit her schedule if she was to have a pizza with me. Not that I fucking asked her. She wouldn't go away so my friend and I drove to Southdown, a different part of town. There we went into Somerfield, bought some alcohol, and went across the road to the local Chinese to order food there.

Who tapped me on the shoulder? Who the fuck do you think? She scared the fucking life out of me. It went on forever, it really did.

Also, although I've not seen it I've heard many reports of some sort of plastic fetish. She walks around with bags picking up pieces of plastic, filling up several bags only to sit on a park bench and inspect/admire said pieces of plastic.
(Tue 4th Nov 2008, 13:05, More)