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- a member for 16 years, 10 months and 28 days
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- has posted 12 stories and 44 replies on question of the week
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» PE Lessons
WIN
I remember turning up to PE without my football boots once. Everyone knows this is a cardinal sin, for which the minimum punishement is 90 lashes with red hot pokers in every orifice. So you can imagine my trepidation as I decide to fess up, and sidle up to the PE office door whilst the changing room is a fever of shinpad donning activity.
“Scuse me sir”. Thank shite, it’s not the head of PE, it’s his less formiddable side kick, but still my heart races.
“Yeah what”.
“Er, I’ve forgotton my boots sir”. Visions of me sliding round a sodden January pitch in my socks enter my head.
“Oh. You’d better do trampolining with the girls then”.
SILENCE. The changing room stops dead and every hormone saturated fifteen year old lad in that room year freezes stock still and I feel their stunned gaze wander from the teacher to me, and then back to the teacher. I don’t think a single football got kicked that day.
(Tue 24th Nov 2009, 10:23, More)
WIN
I remember turning up to PE without my football boots once. Everyone knows this is a cardinal sin, for which the minimum punishement is 90 lashes with red hot pokers in every orifice. So you can imagine my trepidation as I decide to fess up, and sidle up to the PE office door whilst the changing room is a fever of shinpad donning activity.
“Scuse me sir”. Thank shite, it’s not the head of PE, it’s his less formiddable side kick, but still my heart races.
“Yeah what”.
“Er, I’ve forgotton my boots sir”. Visions of me sliding round a sodden January pitch in my socks enter my head.
“Oh. You’d better do trampolining with the girls then”.
SILENCE. The changing room stops dead and every hormone saturated fifteen year old lad in that room year freezes stock still and I feel their stunned gaze wander from the teacher to me, and then back to the teacher. I don’t think a single football got kicked that day.
(Tue 24th Nov 2009, 10:23, More)
» Asking people out
How do you get a fat bird into bed?
Piece of cake!
(Tue 15th Dec 2009, 9:31, More)
How do you get a fat bird into bed?
Piece of cake!
(Tue 15th Dec 2009, 9:31, More)
» Annoying words and phrases
People calling ketchup 'red sauce'
makes me want to hurt them.
(Fri 9th Apr 2010, 16:31, More)
People calling ketchup 'red sauce'
makes me want to hurt them.
(Fri 9th Apr 2010, 16:31, More)
» Good Advice
Confucius he say:
Man who go to bed with itchy arse wake with stinky finger
(Fri 21st May 2010, 12:11, More)
Confucius he say:
Man who go to bed with itchy arse wake with stinky finger
(Fri 21st May 2010, 12:11, More)