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Profile for ReallyEvilCanine:
Profile Info:

I'm male; there's a fair chance we've had sex together.

This is one of my cats. I still have to lol him:

(His sister isn't as bad.)

I live in Germany because I get more than 40 paid days off each year.

CHANGE_ME

I speak a lot of languages. This makes my head hurt.

I have facebook, myspace, digg and other profiles. I don't actually use the accounts. They exist because I'm not willing to let some fuckwit abscond with yet another good nick. One assmunch who decided my last nick was too superawesome to pass up caused me to receive considerable mail from "daddies" willing to "train" me. Whilst wearing diapers. In Islington.

Recent front page messages:


none

Best answers to questions:

» Why I was late

Oktoberfest
From: $Manager
Sent: Donnerstag, 28. September 2006 12:29
To: REC
Subject: Re: Where are you?!

REC, its already noon and you have not called the office to say your whereabouts. Are you working in home office?

# # #

From: REC
Sent: Thursday, September 28, 2006 14:14
To: $Manager
Subject: Re: Where are you?!

I'm in Prague. I'm not on holiday but I'm unable to work. I hope to be in the office tomorrow.

# # #

From: $Manager
Sent: Donnerstag, 28. September 2006 14:21
To: REC
Subject: AW: Re: Where are you?!

What does it mean you are in Prague?? You know that you can not take vacaction without first getting approval. I will have to talk about this to $ÜberManager and you may get the writte up for this. It is unacceptable and we will need to have a meeting when you return.

# # #

From: REC
Sent: Thursday, September 28, 2006 15:17
To: $Manager
Subject: Re: AW: Re: Where are you?!

There will be no meeting. This is NOT vacation. I'm here in Prague because I followed your directions to keep $Customer entertained. I escorted him to the Oktoberfest where, due to my connections I was able to get us into the otherwise closed Hobräu tent. $Customer was having a very good time. Too good a time, in fact. Suffice to say he's somewhat socially inept, even in the context of the Wiesen.

After having drunk four Maß glasses of beer he decided that he'd seen enough of the "cold-ass bitches" who shunned his attempts to become more sociable because "they must hate foreigners" and figured that what he really wanted to see was Czech capitalism in action, something he'd heard can be considerably cheaper than that business which is conducted in Germany. Due to my own consumption of seven beers, this didn't seem as bad an idea as it perhaps should have.

$Customer told the limo driver where to take us. The limo driver balked so $Customer handed him what appeared to be a couple hundred euros. After approximately three hours of driving, during which we discussed $Customer's plans as best as we could, we arrived on the strip as the A6 becomes the D5 at which point, $Customer found an object of interest but required some 11 minutes for the transaction. His business completed, he agreed that it was time to return to Munich.

The border guards were not of the same opinion. While we were waved through by the Czech guards on our arrival, the Germans decided to go by the book. Despite giving them my full information and it checking out, they refused to let me back in the country without ID, something I tend not to carry when dressed in traditional Bavarian lederhosen to participate in the Oktoberfest traditions. We drove to Prague and found a hotel.

I'm currently sitting in an Internet cafe near the Schoenborn Palace. The embassy says they hope to have temporary papers for me by tomorrow but will make no promises. $Customer has disappeared, presumably to the British embassy but for all I know, back to the strip along the D5 to further his understanding of Czech business.

Hotel, transportation and all other costs will appear on my October expense report.
(Thu 28th Jun 2007, 12:17, More)

» Insults

Top Gear
While driving to see her family in Belgium, my girlfriend offered various comments on my m4d motoring sk1llZ. At one point she said she'd start calling me Hammond. I looked at her for a second, not quite sure what she'd said. "Hammond! Hammond! The guy from Top Gear!"

She's not a big fan of the show but she likes some of the funny bits, like the Bizarre vehicles, Clarkson pouring a concrete floor in a Merc S-class, and... Hammond crashing.

I was still looking at her when she then asked "Wasn't he the one who crashed the fast car and almost died?" I saw my moment. "No," I began...

When driving ever comes up in a conversation now she insists on telling everyone that I drive like the Stig.
(Mon 8th Oct 2007, 11:44, More)