» Unusual talents

Clicky Jaw
Dunno how I discovered it, but I have the ability to click my jaw at will and create tunes with it...

Current favourites are the super mario theme tune and and willam tell tune :)

I also have a rather long tongue, which my mrs enjoys quite a lot ;)
(Thu 18th Nov 2010, 15:19, More)

» Crazy Relatives

We're all nuts I tell ya!!
Well, my Dad is a bit of a hoarder and loves bargains. One memorable time was when Asda were doing a special offer on toilet rolls... most people would buy a few every now and then, enough to get by... not my Dad.

We had enough bog roll to last us over a year, bearing in mind there were 3 of us blokes, and I was in that stage of puberty where I was cracking one off like there was no tomorrow, and he had almost no standing room in his bedroom due to it being full of the bloody things!

Also he would moan if we got rid of tinned good s that were 7 years out of date and filling up the cupboards...

And isn't patient at all.... he once made some homemade beer... couldn't wait for it to settle and drank most of the keg.... only to throw up everywhere, bugger off up to bed in a drunken stupor, leaving my mum to clean up :p

I wouldn't change him for the world though, I loves him to bits :D

Also my aunt has been diagnosed with happy dimensia, which although is sad, at least she's blissfully unaware that she's lost her faculties- I wanna visit her but her mind is back at a time when I was only a baby, so she wouldn't recognise me :(

And as for myself... I used to freak out when in crowds and at one point never left the house for almost weeks on end. Luckily I got through it and although sometimes reclusive, overall a helluva lot more confident though still can't talk to random people without shaking like a leaf and looking stiff as a board lol
(Sun 8th Jul 2007, 22:31, More)

» * PFFT *

Clearing whole dancefloors
I'm a naturally flatulent person due to my addiction to cans of coke but when I fling a madras or beer in to the equation.. god help everyone.. :S

When I first moved up to Leeds, I'd been Teetotal so going for a night out usually ended up with me on the dancefloor, prancing around drunkenly like a loon until my guts start bubbling....

...bearing in mind, I'm a big bloke- I did get up to nearly 20st so all my farts usually sound like ducks quacking or even worse sound like I've shat myself.... much to everyones' amusement. But with beer, they tend to come out silently but with the ability to strip paint off a ship :p

Now... imagine a crowded dancefloor, lots of drunken people slobbering over each other like the world is going to end.... only for me to let go of smells that can only be described as silage... it's great because I get to the bar with the tactic of farting just a small distance away, thus not gaining any attention, waiting for the sea of crowd to depart and then take my place.... get in there!
(Wed 18th Jul 2007, 20:47, More)

» Why I was late

Dropping the kids off at the pool
When work used to be right next door *shudders*, I used to leave it right to the last moment to get ready for work, and theoretically still get to my desk on time...

...Only this never happened. There was a pub just down the driveway from where I live and worked.. which got frequented every evening until kicking out time or off to town and and gawp at student types... yum!

...anyways, I'd sometimes decide to have a bit more of a lay in or just forget to set my alarm due to having the odd pint too many and use the excuse that I had chronic bowel movements, which because it was quite grim, never got frowned upon as the other option would be for me to use the office's toilets, which then stinks the whole office out...

Thus! I could get a little extra shut eye and couldn't get bollocked for it, especially when the bosses had paid for the beer I had the night before!!

Though happily I'm always on time these days.. the company has moved several miles away (so I now drive there so no heavy drinking the night before) and I rarely drink so karma has done it's thing and balanced everything out :)
(Thu 28th Jun 2007, 20:05, More)