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» House Guests

One for the men in white coats
As a newly qualified teacher going to my first job I moved into a very cool house share in Chelmsford. Lots of up for it people living in a big house...spot on. This guy moved in and seemed fine for the first week. After that the Special Brew started appearing, as did his rather weak attempts to convert his room into a dungeon where he could 'hang the bastard women upside down and do them up the a**e". We escaped him one night to go to the local cheesey nightclub but he managed to find us. The head boy of the school I was working at was also there and I had just got chatting with him when this guy turns up, pretends I'm his best mate and starts telling the head boy about OUR plans for his dungeon. Thanks for that! Our landlord used his references to track down his parents...turns out he was bipolar and not long been released from a period in the local loony bin. The men in white coats came for him a few days later...
(Thu 6th Jan 2011, 22:25, More)

» Money-saving tips

Thrifty Dating
I make sure I only date new girls around New Year, and only get involved with girls called Natalie, Carol, Holly or Eve. Chances are their birthday is around Christmas and I won't have to shell out for a present until then, by which time they will probably have dumped me.
(Thu 10th Nov 2011, 18:21, More)

» Annoying words and phrases

Push the envelope
'Push the envelope' - WTF? It must have taken a lot of 'blue sky thinking' to come up with that expression.
(Wed 14th Apr 2010, 8:53, More)