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- a member for 16 years, 8 months and 3 days
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- has posted 7 stories and 2 replies on question of the week
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» Sleepwalking
Toilet Adventures
I sleepwalk quite often, especially if I've a wee bit of booze in me. Now some mentioned err 'sleep-pissing' on the floor, been there done that and a lot worse.
There was the time I was staying at my girlfriend’s family house in Guildford (posh town). My girlfriend had a toilet just outside her room that I used for the obvious, but the only shower I could use was the ensuite one in her mum's room. Skip on a month later and my girlfriend rings me:
Her:”hahahahaha”
Me:”What?”
Her:”My mum was drunk last night and decided to tell me something... Remember last month when you were over? Well it seems during the night while my mum was still awake you walked into her room stark naked, opened the door to the toilet, and proceeded to piss in front of her”
Me:”ahem”
Her:”Best bit is she said “Tell you what love, it was half way down his leg, you’re a lucky girl””
I thought she had been giving me strange looks during breakfast....
(Thu 23rd Aug 2007, 11:27, More)
Toilet Adventures
I sleepwalk quite often, especially if I've a wee bit of booze in me. Now some mentioned err 'sleep-pissing' on the floor, been there done that and a lot worse.
There was the time I was staying at my girlfriend’s family house in Guildford (posh town). My girlfriend had a toilet just outside her room that I used for the obvious, but the only shower I could use was the ensuite one in her mum's room. Skip on a month later and my girlfriend rings me:
Her:”hahahahaha”
Me:”What?”
Her:”My mum was drunk last night and decided to tell me something... Remember last month when you were over? Well it seems during the night while my mum was still awake you walked into her room stark naked, opened the door to the toilet, and proceeded to piss in front of her”
Me:”ahem”
Her:”Best bit is she said “Tell you what love, it was half way down his leg, you’re a lucky girl””
I thought she had been giving me strange looks during breakfast....
(Thu 23rd Aug 2007, 11:27, More)
» Blood
Once when I went to give blood...
I was lying down and the nurse was shoving the needle into my arm, I calmly informed her that I had partaken in the drinking of several pints of Guinness, and was in fact quite drunk... she replied "well then, whoever gets your blood will be rather happy eh?"
(Mon 11th Aug 2008, 2:34, More)
Once when I went to give blood...
I was lying down and the nurse was shoving the needle into my arm, I calmly informed her that I had partaken in the drinking of several pints of Guinness, and was in fact quite drunk... she replied "well then, whoever gets your blood will be rather happy eh?"
(Mon 11th Aug 2008, 2:34, More)
» Terrible Parenting
The Cheek!
My Mum when she was fourteen ducked when her sister tried to throw a plate at her head. The plate smashed straight through the window.
Her mum (my Grandma) slapped her shouting "Why did you duck?"
(Tue 21st Aug 2007, 11:35, More)
The Cheek!
My Mum when she was fourteen ducked when her sister tried to throw a plate at her head. The plate smashed straight through the window.
Her mum (my Grandma) slapped her shouting "Why did you duck?"
(Tue 21st Aug 2007, 11:35, More)
» Desperate Times
My mate while drunk.....
deperately needed a big ole poo. So he proceeded to break into someones house by climbing one of the drains to get through a open window, and left a big one in their toilet.
Lovely of him
(Sat 17th Nov 2007, 17:17, More)
My mate while drunk.....
deperately needed a big ole poo. So he proceeded to break into someones house by climbing one of the drains to get through a open window, and left a big one in their toilet.
Lovely of him
(Sat 17th Nov 2007, 17:17, More)
» My most gullible moment
My Dad Has Been to Mercury
He first explained that one side of Mercury is very hot, while the night side is very cold. So while he was on Mercury he would walk along the equator, when he got too hot on one side and too cold on the other, he would turn around and walk backwards.
This of course is very plausible and for years I told friends and teachers where he has been....
(Fri 22nd Aug 2008, 22:24, More)
My Dad Has Been to Mercury
He first explained that one side of Mercury is very hot, while the night side is very cold. So while he was on Mercury he would walk along the equator, when he got too hot on one side and too cold on the other, he would turn around and walk backwards.
This of course is very plausible and for years I told friends and teachers where he has been....
(Fri 22nd Aug 2008, 22:24, More)