Sorry I'm late, the bus broke down

(Fri 6th Dec 2002, 18:14, More)

Jimmy hated having to clean his mum's ears.

(Fri 22nd Nov 2002, 22:06, More)

George had a bit of a co-ordination problem on the slopes

(Wed 20th Nov 2002, 19:03, More)

His fear was rather ironic

(Sun 17th Nov 2002, 7:58, More)

The Ghost of Christmas Pissed.

(Mon 4th Nov 2002, 19:28, More)

JK Rowling wrote this while experimenting with mescaline.

(Mon 4th Nov 2002, 17:55, More)

For the lady who wants to get rid of those unsightly bumcrack hairs

(Mon 28th Oct 2002, 21:38, More)

I don't see what the fuss is about, looks harmless to me

(Wed 9th Oct 2002, 19:03, More)

Dorothy pined badly for the tin man

(Fri 4th Oct 2002, 20:41, More)

The last temptation of Christ

(Fri 27th Sep 2002, 21:58, More)

» This book changed my life

Ok, I've been loathe to post this for obvious reasons
but there is one book that really did change my life.

Girl, Interrupted.

I was sexually abused by my stepfather for years, and it culminated in a gang rape when I was 18. By this point, it was known that he had been abusing me and I was trying to get my head sorted and get my life sorted.
I was 22 when I read Girl, Interrupted and I spent hours reading it and re-reading it. I totally related to Daisy......
After re-reading it for probably the 5th time in 24 hours, I finally realised that I could possibly end up like that unless I made concious decisions not to allow the abuse to shape my thoughts, my actions and ultimately my life.

I took positive steps towards becoming an active, healthy member of society and now....well I'm doing alright. Actually, I'm doing great. I have a great job, wonderful friends who have seen me through some of my darkest times recently and things are looking good for my new relationship.

Life throws shit at you, but it is possible not to let it get you down.

Edit:
Wow. Thank you all for the wonderful responses. Believe me, I thought long and hard before posting this - I'm not ashamed of it and my closest friends and my family know of it. It's just kinda hard to write on a messageboard, you know? I hope that by posting this story, some young 'un out there will be inspired to speak out, too.
(Sun 18th May 2008, 16:47, More)

» The nicest thing someone's ever done for me

Mothers Day
In the US, Mothers Day is celebrated at some point in May.
I was dreading it this year - it was my first mothers day without mum, another friends mum had died the previous week, and my boyfriends wife died last year and he has a 20 year old daughter.
The above meant that I really didn't feel like I had anyone/anywhere to go - Dan needed his space, and the boyf and his daughter needed their day together to remember their loss.

The Wednesday before Mothers Day, I was talking to the bartender in my local, who's also a casual friend about the upcoming "celebration", and mentioned that I'd probably just spend the day holed up in my apartment.

The following morning, she called me. Her dad had asked her what she was doing with her mom, and he said he'd booked appointments for them at a spa for facials and massages. He then dropped a clanger "by the way, I also made an appointment for your friend, Workboresme. I hope she won't be offended, but I thought she might like it and it would take her mind off her mum"

I'd never even met her parents!

So, that Sunday, we headed off to the spa with her dads credit card, and her mom telling everyone about her "2" wonderful daughters :) We had a wonderful day, and when we got back to the pub there were 2 bunches of flowers from my friends dad. One for her, and one for me. "To Workboresme, thank you for being our honorary daughter for the day"
(Thu 2nd Oct 2008, 18:55, More)

» Food sabotage

When my grandad was still alive
mum was his primary caregiver although she was working full time.
He had bone cancer and was in a lot of pain in his last year, to the extent that he'd wake up screaming in the middle of the night.

So, mum did what all good children do.

She put weed in his food a couple of times a week - pain reduced and grandad got a good nights sleep.
(Thu 18th Sep 2008, 17:54, More)

» Stalked

Creepy fisherman stalker
3 weeks ago, I had a nasty accident while fileting a trout. Filet knives are very very sharp and the result was 36 stitches in my arm.
The day after the accident, but completely unrelated, my husband and I decided to call it quits and two weeks ago I moved into my own apartment. Now, when you only have the use of one arm because you can't feel or move the other one, moving house becomes a bit of a logistical problem.

My friends rallied round, and more so did the members of my fishing team and they all moved me in within the weekend - including going out and buying furniture for me and putting it together etc. All I had to do was provide the alcohol, money and shopping lists.

One guy, who wants to be on the Team, was also very helpful - he figured if he does this then maybe those in charge will let him join us. Every fucking day he calls and emails me now, asking if I need anything, do I need my dressings changed, do I need help with physical therapy. It sounds nice, but I just broke up with my husband, this kid is only 19 (I'm 33) and he talks about us as if we're a couple and as if he's going to spend the rest of his life with me!
I'm allowed to start fishing again next weekend and my team are organizing a "welcome back" bbq at the lake. This kid has not been invited, so now he's calling the lake managers asking to be put on the list because he's worried about how I'll manage and he doesn't think I'm ready to be doing it!

He just called while I was writing this 'cos he was pissed I didn't invite him to my housewarming last night!

Length? 3 1/2 inches wide and cut down to the muscle. Pictures are available upon request. Picture in the reply
(Sun 3rd Feb 2008, 18:13, More)

» Social Networking Gaffes

Don't announce to the world what you're doing
when your dad has a myspace page.
Especially when you're underage and are planning on getting "drunk as fuck" and "having hot horny sex" with your boyfriend.
And then lying to your dad about where you are.
And then being surprised when dad asks you how the "hot horny sex" is going!

I'm still laughing at the look on her face when she came home.
(Tue 16th Sep 2008, 16:22, More)