Profile for styler_moses:
My name is Jacque and I live in France. C'est Fantastic! I don't like Barnaby Bear. One time I saw a kid that sounded like barnaby bear and I burnt his neck. He didn't like it.
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My name is Jacque and I live in France. C'est Fantastic! I don't like Barnaby Bear. One time I saw a kid that sounded like barnaby bear and I burnt his neck. He didn't like it.
Recent front page messages:
none
Best answers to questions:
» Too much information
Beans!
A friend of mine once revealed his ultimate fantasy: to have sex with a girl while the two of them are covered in baked beans.
In his defence he stated "It's the naked woman that makes it sexy"
But why cover her in beans? Why, dear god, why?
(Tue 11th Sep 2007, 10:47, More)
Beans!
A friend of mine once revealed his ultimate fantasy: to have sex with a girl while the two of them are covered in baked beans.
In his defence he stated "It's the naked woman that makes it sexy"
But why cover her in beans? Why, dear god, why?
(Tue 11th Sep 2007, 10:47, More)
» Food sabotage
I can't believe it's not butter!
This is one of those friend of a friend stories, I don't think I'd be able to come up with something like this.
It concerns two roommates who were having a feud. Not sure how it started, but I do know that after a while shit got involved. Roommate A shat in a tub, hid it under Roommate B's bed. B shat in a saucepan and put it in A's food cupboard.
Then, nothing happened. It had been a few weeks and A never retaliated. B had won. Then he went to have some toast and made the discovery: A had taken B's butter tub, and scraped some off the bottom, lined the bottom with shit and put the butter back in.
And A had been eating it for weeks, only finding it once he scraped down to the bottom.
*Edit* Shit, just read the same story a little bit down the page. Only it was a game of hide the turd.
(Thu 18th Sep 2008, 18:09, More)
I can't believe it's not butter!
This is one of those friend of a friend stories, I don't think I'd be able to come up with something like this.
It concerns two roommates who were having a feud. Not sure how it started, but I do know that after a while shit got involved. Roommate A shat in a tub, hid it under Roommate B's bed. B shat in a saucepan and put it in A's food cupboard.
Then, nothing happened. It had been a few weeks and A never retaliated. B had won. Then he went to have some toast and made the discovery: A had taken B's butter tub, and scraped some off the bottom, lined the bottom with shit and put the butter back in.
And A had been eating it for weeks, only finding it once he scraped down to the bottom.
*Edit* Shit, just read the same story a little bit down the page. Only it was a game of hide the turd.
(Thu 18th Sep 2008, 18:09, More)
» Customers from Hell
This one's about a friend
An old roommate of mine used to work in a video store which also has sun-beds. This of course means he had to deal with plenty of orange chavy types.
The worst part was cleaning out the tanning rooms at the end of the night. He'd often find cups or bottles left lying around the room. Not too bad, except they were always filled with piss. And the bins in the room would be pissed and shat in almost everyday too. They'd almost always have skidmarks on the tanning beds too.
What's that you might be thinking? Surely putting a public toilet up there will fix things? Well, they had a toilet up there put it takes about one day for it to get blocked, broken or stupid cunts to not bother flushing and keep pilling up more and more shit until there's a proper little mountain in there. One day, someone took the toilet brush and used it to smear shit all over the walls and then proudly stuck the brush back into the pile.
He stayed there for 2 years somehow.
(Sun 7th Sep 2008, 9:48, More)
This one's about a friend
An old roommate of mine used to work in a video store which also has sun-beds. This of course means he had to deal with plenty of orange chavy types.
The worst part was cleaning out the tanning rooms at the end of the night. He'd often find cups or bottles left lying around the room. Not too bad, except they were always filled with piss. And the bins in the room would be pissed and shat in almost everyday too. They'd almost always have skidmarks on the tanning beds too.
What's that you might be thinking? Surely putting a public toilet up there will fix things? Well, they had a toilet up there put it takes about one day for it to get blocked, broken or stupid cunts to not bother flushing and keep pilling up more and more shit until there's a proper little mountain in there. One day, someone took the toilet brush and used it to smear shit all over the walls and then proudly stuck the brush back into the pile.
He stayed there for 2 years somehow.
(Sun 7th Sep 2008, 9:48, More)
» Food sex
Repost
www.b3ta.com/questions/toomuchinformation/post89496
(Thu 6th Aug 2009, 22:09, More)
Repost
www.b3ta.com/questions/toomuchinformation/post89496
(Thu 6th Aug 2009, 22:09, More)
» Housemates
He was older than my parents
After college my friends who I had been living with for 2 1/2 years decided to go to America, leaving me behind to save money for my own trip.
So I found a place with a spare room, it looked okay, apparently the house had 2 workers and a student in it. The landlord didn't tell me any more about them.
So I come downstairs after my first night there and what do I see but a short fat 55 year old standing in his underwear. He was ironing, so I thought maybe he is just ironing his pants. Then I came home from work and he was sitting in the living room in the dark watching TV with only his underwear and an old vest on.
He also:
-Snored loudly. Very loudly, it sounded like he was killing a bear in there some nights. I often jumped up and down and banged doors to wake him up so I could sleep, but it only lasted a few minutes.
-Watched porn whilst in his pants/vest combo in the living room. I know this because I turned on the TV one morning and it defaulted to the playboy channel.
-He was a complete slob. He had so much of his stuff just thrown everywhere it was ridiculous. He had a big pile of his clothes thrown beside the washing machine that he just picked from every now and again. Just before I left, the landlord had stuffed them all in a bin liner bag and thrown them in front of his door. It took a day before he had started building up his pile again.
-There was a girl who moved in at the same time as me. He only ever stared at her tits and kept talking about sex to her. She ended up staying at a friends house most nights because she was too afraid to stay there.
-He was pretty well off too. He owned, or else was the manager of a winery. He also used to get paid to give loads of talks about wine. And he travelled around the world to watch every single Ireland match. Yet he still lived in a little 75 euro a week place with people half his age. I just don't get it.
I've been bitten by fleas, woken up by rats, had mildew creeping after me among other things in other houses. This guy was the worst.
Apologies re: length
(Fri 27th Feb 2009, 10:13, More)
He was older than my parents
After college my friends who I had been living with for 2 1/2 years decided to go to America, leaving me behind to save money for my own trip.
So I found a place with a spare room, it looked okay, apparently the house had 2 workers and a student in it. The landlord didn't tell me any more about them.
So I come downstairs after my first night there and what do I see but a short fat 55 year old standing in his underwear. He was ironing, so I thought maybe he is just ironing his pants. Then I came home from work and he was sitting in the living room in the dark watching TV with only his underwear and an old vest on.
He also:
-Snored loudly. Very loudly, it sounded like he was killing a bear in there some nights. I often jumped up and down and banged doors to wake him up so I could sleep, but it only lasted a few minutes.
-Watched porn whilst in his pants/vest combo in the living room. I know this because I turned on the TV one morning and it defaulted to the playboy channel.
-He was a complete slob. He had so much of his stuff just thrown everywhere it was ridiculous. He had a big pile of his clothes thrown beside the washing machine that he just picked from every now and again. Just before I left, the landlord had stuffed them all in a bin liner bag and thrown them in front of his door. It took a day before he had started building up his pile again.
-There was a girl who moved in at the same time as me. He only ever stared at her tits and kept talking about sex to her. She ended up staying at a friends house most nights because she was too afraid to stay there.
-He was pretty well off too. He owned, or else was the manager of a winery. He also used to get paid to give loads of talks about wine. And he travelled around the world to watch every single Ireland match. Yet he still lived in a little 75 euro a week place with people half his age. I just don't get it.
I've been bitten by fleas, woken up by rats, had mildew creeping after me among other things in other houses. This guy was the worst.
Apologies re: length
(Fri 27th Feb 2009, 10:13, More)