» Random Acts of Kindness

Back when gay dating mostly involved...
Either going to a bar/club (expensive and with a high miss rate), having lots of gay friends (meh) or going to a cruising ground (eek!) there was a brilliant way of doing the dating - the back pages of Gay Times, Boyz and Pink Paper! Boyz and Pink Paper could be gotten free in gay bars and stuff and for a couple of quid you could put an ad in the back and a couple of weeks later a brown envelope would come through your door with some scrawled perverted fantasies and photocopied photographs. Yay!

Well, I'd paid my thruppence and included some stamps with the cheque (yes, it all seems so quaint in these days of Gaydar, Grindr and Manhunt) but in the time between my posting off the order for some shag and the letters arriving I'd acquired myself a sex-mad headfuck of a boyfriend who was busy reducing me to a harrowed shell of a human being (I bumped into him last year in circumstances that have ensured that I've an annecdote for dinner parties forever, let's just say we were at Torture Garden and I didn't recognise him at first but after we'd worked out who we were I did utter the immortal lines "you did treat me like a complete cunt, you know? Don't worry - I've never been in such a disfunctional relationship again since and you seem much happier too"). Well, two letter arrived and I looked at them and not being a git I felt it only honourable to let them know I was not in the market any more.

Then I was gripped by the warm hands of inspiration...

I posted each letter to the other sender with a covering note along the lines of "if you both liked the ad, you may like each other..." and sent them off into the postal system, never to hear from either of them again.

I hope they shagged happily ever after!
(Fri 10th Feb 2012, 15:08, More)