Profile for bernards bitch:
im a girl. oh yeh. great. look, a cunt. draw a willy on top. or just show me a lolcat. either/or.
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- a member for 16 years, 4 months and 13 days
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- has posted 8 stories and 3 replies on question of the week
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im a girl. oh yeh. great. look, a cunt. draw a willy on top. or just show me a lolcat. either/or.
Recent front page messages:
none
Best answers to questions:
» Accidental animal cruelty
more stairs
my now gone doggy was a sausage dog and so was very easy to throw about the place. as a kid the favourite game was to put him in a suitcase, close it up and drag him down the stairs one bump at a time. i imagined it was like some fun theme park ride for him. but i guess i know where he got his epilepsy and nervous expressions from now.
(Tue 11th Dec 2007, 11:50, More)
more stairs
my now gone doggy was a sausage dog and so was very easy to throw about the place. as a kid the favourite game was to put him in a suitcase, close it up and drag him down the stairs one bump at a time. i imagined it was like some fun theme park ride for him. but i guess i know where he got his epilepsy and nervous expressions from now.
(Tue 11th Dec 2007, 11:50, More)
» Impulse buys
trampolines?
yknow what im tired of this. seeing everyone get a freaking trampoline implanted into their back garden. its the new swing set. except swings are more fun cos you can damage yourself on them more by jumping at full tilt and also you dont get lame videos on youtube of foxes bumbling around on them. (if youre gonna upload a video of an animal on a trampoline, please make sure it is a minimum of three feet in the air. otherwise its just like watching a bit of bouncy grass)
(Wed 27th May 2009, 23:51, More)
trampolines?
yknow what im tired of this. seeing everyone get a freaking trampoline implanted into their back garden. its the new swing set. except swings are more fun cos you can damage yourself on them more by jumping at full tilt and also you dont get lame videos on youtube of foxes bumbling around on them. (if youre gonna upload a video of an animal on a trampoline, please make sure it is a minimum of three feet in the air. otherwise its just like watching a bit of bouncy grass)
(Wed 27th May 2009, 23:51, More)
» Shit Stories: Part Number Two
recent
today i have told six people about my wee poo. its too liquidy to be called a turd. its my anus waterfall. it feels quite soothing as it happens actually, a bit like when you get your ear syringed. i hope i get it tommorow as well. *fingers crossed*.
(Sun 30th Mar 2008, 4:11, More)
recent
today i have told six people about my wee poo. its too liquidy to be called a turd. its my anus waterfall. it feels quite soothing as it happens actually, a bit like when you get your ear syringed. i hope i get it tommorow as well. *fingers crossed*.
(Sun 30th Mar 2008, 4:11, More)
» Your first cigarette
doing it with the royals
my first cigarette was in the grounds of a private boys boarding college that a mr william young frequented. yessir yessir i is posh. i was 12 i think. my best friend (at the time, oh how many of them have i gone through?) and i had succesfully raided drinks cabinets and now felt mature enough to move onto inhaling rather than gulping. we used cigarettes as our pick up line, as many 12yr olds do. meet a guy whos 15 wondering the streets and ask him to get us fags and booze. it usually worked. but anyways, smoking. i love smoking. have never had that choking problem at the start, it just seems to have developed now in my later years so i look like a spluttering teen. smoking is me. sizzle sizzle. stub me, bitch.
(Thu 20th Mar 2008, 7:59, More)
doing it with the royals
my first cigarette was in the grounds of a private boys boarding college that a mr william young frequented. yessir yessir i is posh. i was 12 i think. my best friend (at the time, oh how many of them have i gone through?) and i had succesfully raided drinks cabinets and now felt mature enough to move onto inhaling rather than gulping. we used cigarettes as our pick up line, as many 12yr olds do. meet a guy whos 15 wondering the streets and ask him to get us fags and booze. it usually worked. but anyways, smoking. i love smoking. have never had that choking problem at the start, it just seems to have developed now in my later years so i look like a spluttering teen. smoking is me. sizzle sizzle. stub me, bitch.
(Thu 20th Mar 2008, 7:59, More)