You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Profile for bernards bitch:
Profile Info:

im a girl. oh yeh. great. look, a cunt. draw a willy on top. or just show me a lolcat. either/or.

Recent front page messages:


none

Best answers to questions:

» Dumb things you've done

life
i got born
(Fri 21st Dec 2007, 0:24, More)

» Top Tips

when making lesbian pornos
dont let the actresses have long nails. its kinda obvious they arent proper into it.
(Thu 6th Mar 2008, 4:05, More)

» Accidental animal cruelty

more stairs
my now gone doggy was a sausage dog and so was very easy to throw about the place. as a kid the favourite game was to put him in a suitcase, close it up and drag him down the stairs one bump at a time. i imagined it was like some fun theme park ride for him. but i guess i know where he got his epilepsy and nervous expressions from now.
(Tue 11th Dec 2007, 11:50, More)

» Impulse buys

trampolines?
yknow what im tired of this. seeing everyone get a freaking trampoline implanted into their back garden. its the new swing set. except swings are more fun cos you can damage yourself on them more by jumping at full tilt and also you dont get lame videos on youtube of foxes bumbling around on them. (if youre gonna upload a video of an animal on a trampoline, please make sure it is a minimum of three feet in the air. otherwise its just like watching a bit of bouncy grass)
(Wed 27th May 2009, 23:51, More)

» Shit Stories: Part Number Two

recent
today i have told six people about my wee poo. its too liquidy to be called a turd. its my anus waterfall. it feels quite soothing as it happens actually, a bit like when you get your ear syringed. i hope i get it tommorow as well. *fingers crossed*.
(Sun 30th Mar 2008, 3:11, More)
[read all their answers]