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- a member for 16 years, 4 months and 1 day
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» Dumb things you've done
Oh my god....
Picture the scene...childhood best friends wedding...lovely crisp winters day, a very emotional affair. Both myself and said friends brother were single at the time, and after the romance of the event, somehow ended up in bed together. After a rather energetic show of bedroom aerobics I pass out. Sadly the bed is against the wall, next to the radiator. I flake out that side, back to the wall in the early hours on the morning, just as the heating comes on.
Many hours later we awaken, and upon pulling my underwear back on, come across a couple of lumps on my arse which certainly have not been there before. On asking friends brother to have a look, I was somewhat upset to be met with cries of "Oh my god beaker, its massive!" Hoping he is not referring to the size of my derriere, I look meaningfully at him, whilst rubbing strange tender lumps on the buttocks, and he laughingly informs me I have blisters on my arse from the radiator!
Fast forward several hours, and me having to explain to A&E staff how I managed to get burns in that particular area!
Length...about 4 inches long and 1.5 wide...couldn't sit down properly for 10 days!
(Fri 21st Dec 2007, 15:32, More)
Oh my god....
Picture the scene...childhood best friends wedding...lovely crisp winters day, a very emotional affair. Both myself and said friends brother were single at the time, and after the romance of the event, somehow ended up in bed together. After a rather energetic show of bedroom aerobics I pass out. Sadly the bed is against the wall, next to the radiator. I flake out that side, back to the wall in the early hours on the morning, just as the heating comes on.
Many hours later we awaken, and upon pulling my underwear back on, come across a couple of lumps on my arse which certainly have not been there before. On asking friends brother to have a look, I was somewhat upset to be met with cries of "Oh my god beaker, its massive!" Hoping he is not referring to the size of my derriere, I look meaningfully at him, whilst rubbing strange tender lumps on the buttocks, and he laughingly informs me I have blisters on my arse from the radiator!
Fast forward several hours, and me having to explain to A&E staff how I managed to get burns in that particular area!
Length...about 4 inches long and 1.5 wide...couldn't sit down properly for 10 days!
(Fri 21st Dec 2007, 15:32, More)
» Shit Stories: Part Number Two
Italian waterparks
Whilst staying with some friends in Milan a few years ago, we headed to the local water park. First couple of rides were fine, the normal rapids etc. then we tried the body slide.(http://www.myrthapools.com/english/parchi_body_slides.html) What a mistake. The water sadly shot up every orifice it could find, leading me to have a water park sponsored enema. feeling quite uncomfortable, I head off to the toilets, and find an end cubicle, shut the door, and turn around to be met with a hole in the ground, and foot rests. No toilet roll holders at all. Opening the cubicle door, and now bent double with the cramps, I spy the toilet roll at other end of the room (20 cubicles either side), and hobble, moaning to grab some, make it back to the cubicle, and whip the bikini bottoms off, and assume the position.
All I can say, and perhaps this should be in the tips section, don't ever release an enema in flip flops!
(Fri 28th Mar 2008, 11:24, More)
Italian waterparks
Whilst staying with some friends in Milan a few years ago, we headed to the local water park. First couple of rides were fine, the normal rapids etc. then we tried the body slide.(http://www.myrthapools.com/english/parchi_body_slides.html) What a mistake. The water sadly shot up every orifice it could find, leading me to have a water park sponsored enema. feeling quite uncomfortable, I head off to the toilets, and find an end cubicle, shut the door, and turn around to be met with a hole in the ground, and foot rests. No toilet roll holders at all. Opening the cubicle door, and now bent double with the cramps, I spy the toilet roll at other end of the room (20 cubicles either side), and hobble, moaning to grab some, make it back to the cubicle, and whip the bikini bottoms off, and assume the position.
All I can say, and perhaps this should be in the tips section, don't ever release an enema in flip flops!
(Fri 28th Mar 2008, 11:24, More)
» Hotel Splendido
Oh where to start.....
Many many crappy hotels and hostels over my time...
Childrens Bunk beds in a hostel in Cairns, which when lying flat on my back my nose was about 6 inches beneath the top bunk,scary prospect!
Bed Bugs galore....could see the mattress writhing with them...sadly only noticed that in the morning after I'd passed out for the night.
Hostels that charge a fortune and dont' even give you a blanket, then shut reception at 6pm so you can'ty get one later that night...Trust me, Adelaide in the middle of winter with no blankets is bloody cold!
Not myself, but a friend had the worst EVER experience in a hostel, when he was woken by the guy on the top bunk having a piss. In the bed, urine seeping through and out the otherside of the matteress, striaght onto said friend....oh how I laughed!
(Mon 21st Jan 2008, 15:14, More)
Oh where to start.....
Many many crappy hotels and hostels over my time...
Childrens Bunk beds in a hostel in Cairns, which when lying flat on my back my nose was about 6 inches beneath the top bunk,scary prospect!
Bed Bugs galore....could see the mattress writhing with them...sadly only noticed that in the morning after I'd passed out for the night.
Hostels that charge a fortune and dont' even give you a blanket, then shut reception at 6pm so you can'ty get one later that night...Trust me, Adelaide in the middle of winter with no blankets is bloody cold!
Not myself, but a friend had the worst EVER experience in a hostel, when he was woken by the guy on the top bunk having a piss. In the bed, urine seeping through and out the otherside of the matteress, striaght onto said friend....oh how I laughed!
(Mon 21st Jan 2008, 15:14, More)